Rambling in Rayleigh

Somewhere only we know - Keane

2006-11-12T22:16:00.000Z

Due to popular demand*, i've given up on me WordPress blog started blogging again in blogspot. Go here if you are interested.

* Ok, ok. There was only one demand - but it came from a popular person! ;-)

Goodbye Alice in Wonderland - Jewel

2006-10-16T03:51:00.000+01:00

Just like the many posts herein in recent times, the past few weeks have been like the last half hour of “Return of the King” – so many endings and goodbyes! But this is it. This is the end.

In 2004, I did something which many thought was crazy – I gave up my job as the junior partner of a legal firm with the intention of leaving the legal profession for good and resuming my studies.

Although the path then was not smooth – I have to admit that there were moments when I feared that I may regret my decision – I finally started my Masters’ degree programme here in autumn of 2005. In a way, I took the “blue pill” and the challenge to see where the rabbit-hole would lead me to. Just like Alice, nothing would have prepared me for the adventure that was waiting for me.

I moved in to Rayleigh Tower 11 in October 2005 – and I started on this blog. Today, after more than one year and close to 500 posts in this blog, I will move out of Rayleigh Tower for good – and move out of this blog too.

The year has been… words fail me now (considering the 400 plus posts before this, you have to trust me when I say that it’s seldom I’m lost for words). All the superlatives I can think of now seem so inadequate. After being on this terrestrial ball for more than 3 decades, I thought I have had experienced it all. I couldn’t have been further away from the truth.

What can I say? This is the life! I’m living again. I’ve never felt so alive for so long.

But just like almost everything else, this journey must reach its conclusion. I’ve delayed it long enough – and I’ve resisted the temptation to delay it even further. It has been brilliant. Now it’s time for a new adventure, a new journey, a new story… a new blog.

I have decided to call the curtains for this blog too as I needed some sort of closure. A part of me has been struggling in the recent weeks to cling on to the last vistas of good times and memories. It was kinda like coming to the end of “The Return of the King” and not wanting to end knowing that there won’t be a part 4 next December. It may be like how Peter (not Jackson) felt on the Mount of Transfiguration – how he wanted to set up tents so that they could stay there for a while longer.

But later today, I’ll walk out of Rayleigh Tower for good – I’ll be back as a visitor but that won’t be the same.

So as I sit all alone here in the kitchen, drinking Tesco coffee and enjoying the night view of the lake like I’ve always had almost every night in the past 380 days, I will not cry knowing it is my last nite but instead, my heart is filled with joy as I think of the knowledge gained, of the lessons learnt, of the frenships made – and strengthened, of the happiness experienced, of the tears shed, of the love received and shared, of the life lived!

I thank God for mapping out the route for me – truly:-

“eyes has not seen, nor ear heard,
nor have entered into the heart of man
the things which God has prepared for those who love him”

I thank me family for being so supportive of me studies here.

And I thank you for going down deep into the rabbit-hole with me. It’s goodbye now.

p/s – My new blog is The Movie in My Mind. However, with the extensive travelling and lack of internet facilities, it may be a while before it is “business as usual” there.

p/p/s – I have the right to be narcissistic, dun I? It is the final opportunity for me to be so! So check out my pictorial recap of the year here in Rayleigh Tower in Pieces of Me.

謝謝你的愛 - 李心潔

2006-10-15T17:51:00.000+01:00

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held him there until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life; I know that it is finished

Stuart Townend

I feel good - James Brown

2006-10-14T19:10:00.000+01:00

Extract from a mate's recent e-mail*:-

Btw, you should know that the yr as a student has done you good. You look younger and fitter! The benefits of no longer being exposed to your previous profession's occupational hazards?;)

8
Pic on the left taken in October 2005 while the one on the right in October 2006

* Yes, yes, Ru, i know i owe you a reply...

Hard habit to break - Chicago

2006-10-13T22:26:00.000+01:00

For the more observant blog readers, you'd noticed not one but 2 NEW BLOGS listed in the links by the side of this blog!

One is a new photoblog entitled "Signs" while the other is my dissertation (linked under Rambler's Studies).

It was encouraging recently to hear that there are some people whom i have never met before who actually read me blogs listed under "Rambler's Studies". The LLM course in Internatinal Human Rights law has enriched me greatly and i hope that whatever i post in those said blogs will be of some use to others.

Cheers... and enjoy! :-)

I say a little prayer - Dionne Warwick

2006-10-13T20:09:00.000+01:00

Today, the sun was out all day and there was a light breeze to ensure it din get too hot.

Today, my greatest nightmare happened to a good fren.

How can such a lovely day bring such terrible news? :-(

My prayers are with you, H.

Sometimes when we touch - Dan Hill

2006-10-12T23:12:00.000+01:00

Lincoln Rhyme surveyed the machinery. Wondered what it be like to actually close his fingers around an object again. With his left ring finger he could touch and had a faint sense of pressure. But actually gripping something, feeling its texture, weight, temperature … those were unimaginable.

The Empty Chair

I've been working this whole week They decided to put me in charge of the Coffee Cart at the LTB Building*. Me in charge of the Coffee Cart! ROTFL!!!!!! It's like asking the cat to guard the fish or putting the mouse in charge of the cheese! ;-P

I simply love it! Besides the obvious (yes, i am officially allowed to drink as much as i like), this is easy money!!!! The just desserts after last week of days when i had 6 hours straight of pot washing duties!!!

Out of the 5 1/2 hours i'm there, i prolly only work like an hour. The rest of the time, i get to sit and read!!! Yes, i get paid (6.30 quid an hour, mind you!) to sit and read and drink coffee! And when it's time to sell coffee, i get to chat with strangers. Woohoo!!!!

I'm reading this old e-book i have in me PDA. Some crime story. It reminds me a lot of "The Bone Collector" where the criminalogist (Lincoln Rhymes) is a paraplegic and he gets a lady officer to be his eyes and ears in the crime scene. It also made me miss CSI.

The above-quoted passage really hit when i read it. It made me realise how much i take for granted the ability to simply hold something and feel its weight.

Imagine how your world would be if you can't feel anything...

The wind in your hair
The weight of a gold ring

The grass under your feet

The grip of a little child's hand
The comfort of a well worn jeans
The coarseness of the sand in a riverbed

The tickle of a tear rolling down your cheek

The strength of a hand massaging the back of your neck

The gentleness of someone's touch

The cold rain falling on your face
The comfort of the duvet
The softness of your bed
The warmth of a hug

*to UoE students - ok, ok, saying "LTB Building" is like saying "NIV version" - but then how? LT Building? No one will know what is that. The LTB? Then there'll be those who'll ask, "Which one" cuz there are ... at least 10 LTBs in the LTB Building!.

Let me let go - Faith Hill

2006-10-11T20:00:00.000+01:00

不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。

Why is it that whenever I give up all hope, hope springs? I can't decide if it's great... or just cruel.

For once in my life - Vonda Shepherd

2006-10-11T19:12:00.000+01:00

The whispered conversations in overcrowded hallways
The atmosphere as thrilling here as always
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye

I've spent so many mornings just trying to resist you
I'm trembling now, you can't know how I've missed you
Missed the fairy tale adventure
In this ever spinning playground
We were young together

As if we never said goodbye - Andrew Webber

The scene is so familiar
But yet it feel so foreign
The squares which once were empty
Are now packed with students

I see them, i see their eyes
Eyes filled with excitement
Eyes glowing with anticipation
Eyes crying out of fear
Eyes teary from loneliness
Eyes shinning with joy
I see them, with eyes of envy

The joys of being a student
A vessel... waiting to be filled from the fountain of knowledge
A soul... waiting to be touched and enriched by others
A doorway... leading to the endless choices of opportunities
An outlet... to channel one's potentials and gifts
A chance... to discover who you really are.

I see them now
With eyes of envy.

不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。

You make me sick - Pink

2006-10-11T18:38:00.000+01:00

It's so sickening talking to a person who owns a car, a house, a job with a steady income, and who lives with his parents but who still alleges that he's broke.

What a b*gger....

Di mana kan ku cari ganti - Sheila Majid

2006-10-09T20:39:00.000+01:00

Dunia terang menjadi gelita
Cahaya indah tiada berguna
Keluhan hatiku
Menambah derita
Tetap kau jua
Tak kunjung jelma

Di mana kan ku cari ganti
Serupa denganmu?

In the wee small hours of the morning - Jamie Cullum

2006-10-08T01:56:00.000+01:00

Random thoughts at 2 am:-

It's too quiet tonite - after a whole week of loud partying, the silence seems deafening... to me, anyways.

Been out in the rain one time too many in the past week. Yesterday, i was involved in a battle against the flu - you know, the feeling like u r gonna fall sick, right at the edge but trying hard not to topple over into the sea of running noses, sore throats and grogginess.

Still can't get over the fact that she din call..

I have this craving for chicken soup now...

It's funny how arranging the chairs and moping the floor can bring back so much wonderful memories.

It was nice to watch a Cantonese movie again the other nite. Now can anyone get me a copy of "Re-Cycle"?

B*gger - i burnt me toast. Can't blog and make supper at the same time - or just further proof that men can't multi-task.

A pleasant surprise - a really old fren texted me out of the blue and told me she was praying for me. Nobody really knows wat i'm going thru right now, physically and emotinally. Nobody but God. And he got her to pray for me. I was surprised at how easy this difficult patch has been. I guess by now i shouldn't be surprised - not when he's watching over me.

Cheers, S! Rest assured, he has heard and answered yr prayers.

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky
You can always find something to do
But from dusk till dawn as the clock ticks on
Something happens to you

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the girl
And never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You'd be hers if only she'd call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That's the time you miss her most of all

Supper's ready! :-)

It doesn't matter who he is - it just matters who you're not...
Sarah to Jack, Lost Season 3 Episode 1

What a wonderful world - Loius Armstrong

2006-10-07T00:07:00.000+01:00

MSN chat today:-

10/6/2006 12:04:58 PM Me mate (name not disclosed to protect identity): What do you call a guy with a seagull on his head?

10/6/2006 12:05:23 PM Me: ?

10/6/2006 12:05:27 PM Me mate: CLIFF

10/6/2006 12:05:31 PM Me mate: muahhahahahaha

And you guys think that I'm lame....

Speaking of cliffs... hehehehe... most of me pics from me recent holiday are posted online! Altho thanks to me travelling mate, a lot of me Bristol pics are lost forever. :-(

So feel free to check out the pics by clicking on these links - Bristol, Bute Park (Cardiff), Cardiff Castle, Cardiff miscelleneous pics and pics taken along the Coastal Path and other places at the Pembrokeshire National Park.

Check out also this link on why my trip to Wales was brilliant!

Here's a sample of the pics from the Coastal Path. Lovely, ain't it?

I can see clearly now - Jimmy Cliff

2006-10-06T16:31:00.000+01:00

It was raining the whole day today - from the moment i got out of bed.

The light showers turned into a heavy downpour not too long ago. From the 12th floor, the rain appeared to be falling almost horizontally (ok, i exaggerate but believe you me, not by much!).

Then, just as sudden as the heavens opened, it stopped - and the sun came out! It's a strange view outside me window now (see pic on the left).

Strange cuz you can see the beautiful blue skies in the distance, almost cloudless.

You can see the town clearly - which was once obscured by the heavy rain.

You can see the sun reflected off the green leaves and grass.

You can see the shadows cast by the trees and the buildings.

But yet, you can still see the remnants of the grey clouds directly above...

What's even stranger is that that's how i'm feeling now...

Leaving on jet plane - Chantal Kreviazuk

2006-10-06T16:14:00.000+01:00

I wish I could be there to say this to you face to face.

Bye!

Nothing compares to you - Sinead O'Connor

2006-10-05T02:14:00.000+01:00

After chatting wif a mate on MSN about Star Wars earier today, i found this really old forwarded e-mail and decided to blog it!!!!

Yes, e, this post is especially for you!!!!! ;-P

20 reasons Star Wars is better than Titanic

1. Titanic may be big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

2. Star Wars has WAY better action figure potential.

3. Yoda could use the Force to just lift Titanic out of the water.

4. Leia is a princess, a senator, a diplomat, a freedom fighter, a brilliant strategist, and Jedi material; Rose is just cute marriage bait.

5. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

6. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge couldn't say "WOW! Look at the size of that thing!" with any sincerity.

7. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by an evil madman with a lightsaber as opposed to an idiot with a handgun.

8a. Titanic is egalitarian in that it portrays poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to the rank of Admiral.

8b. Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.

9. We know Cal is the bad guy because he greases his hair, sneers at the poor, and treats his fiance like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he wears an ominous, voluminous black cape and mysterious mask, strangles people with a glance and blows up entire planets for sport.

10. Yeah, okay, so Leo can dance...but can he fly an X-wing?

11. People have never lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.

12. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt. Now c'mon...who's really the brave one here?

13. Two words: Harrison Ford

14. There are always more than enough escape pods in Star Wars.

15. Do you have any idea what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?

16. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would either...

A: Cut himself free with his lightsaber;
B: Use the Force to get the key; or
C: Han Solo would come in at the last second and blast the cuffs off.

17. "I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."

18. We all knew the boat was gonna sink, but who was ready for "Luke....I am your father." ???

19. Han Solo would've missed that damned iceberg!

20. Han, though frozen solid in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament, returns in excellent health to mount a successful mission against the Empire on Endor, crushing the enemy and single-handedly paving the way for a brilliant air campaign which results in the destruction of the Empire's second attempt at a Death Star, AND claims the heart of his woman with whom he will live happily ever after. Jack, on the other hand, simply freezes.

All pics taken during the Star Wars Expo in Paris during Spring 2006

The circle of life - Elton John

2006-10-03T21:09:00.000+01:00

It's my 366th day in the UK now - but who's counting? ;-P

I must say that i'm coping better than expected. I'm happily living vicariously off me mate's Phd life by staying in his flat and meeting his flatmates - while he is out of the country. I kinda envy him cuz so far, his new flatmates(whom he has not met yet) are really nice! On top of that, there's this girl from Guangdong - and she speaks Cantonese!!!!! I can't expain how wonderful it is to hang out in the kitchen and chat in Cantonese with someone! :-) Just the other day, i bumped into a fren of an ex-flatmate who is also from Guangdong and we chatted in Canto for a while. It has been so long since i've called someone "lang looi" and she called me "lang chai" in return!

I dun know if it's my imagination but there seem to be many more people speaking in Cantonese among the freshers.

Yup, the new year has started. The freshies are here. It's noisy all nite long. Drunk undergrads roam the grounds in the wee hours of the morning. The other nite, the security guard came to our flat accompanied by a police officer. Apparently, there was a report of a stabbing in the North Towers but no other details - so the poor fellas were going to every floor, in every tower!

Still, i can feel the excitement the in air. And i cant help but envy them. A new year, new frens, new experiences.

I was thinking of all me mates i've made since i got here. I miss them. But i have to admit that seeing life goes on helps me to move on too. That was another lifetime - a brilliant one, but one that has ended. And even tho most of them are so far away, i keep them close to me everyday - and for some, every minute of the day. They may not be around here physically, but they are never gone.

Never Gone

Never gone, never far

In my heart is where you are
Always close
Everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life
Never gone

Someone to watch over me - Renee Olstead

2006-10-01T17:24:00.000+01:00

Today was the Church anniversary service. How apt - since it's also the anniversary of me coming over here. Yeah, 1 year ago today was when i left home to come here.

In his sharing, the guest preacher referred to an old Gershwin song - "Someone to watch over me". And again, i found that it was so relevant for me too.

As i walk around campus today, seeing all the new students move in, i'm transported back to one year ago when i was one of them. Time really flies, doesn't it?

And looking back, i was moved to tears as on hindsight, i could see so so clearly how i had someone to watch over me, every step of the way. Jesus was doing that. Whether thru the dark days or sunny ones, whether when i was worshiping him faithfully or sinning, he was watching over me.

And more than that, he was watching over me loved ones who were and still are so far away.

The autumn leaves have oredi started falling, just like it did last October, just like how it will next October. And just as sure as the autumn leaves falling next October, i'm equally sure that until then, he will still be watching over me.

Days of darkness still come o'er me
Sorrow's paths I often tread
But the Saviour still is with me
By His hand I'm safely led
Francis Rawley

Pic taken in Bute Park, Cardiff (Autumn 2006)

All by myself - Celine Dion

2006-09-30T21:27:00.000+01:00

I'm back!

I really din want to.

O well...

The holiday was brilliant - and me took loads of pics - so be warned!

But more than just having an excellent time and not wanting it to end, i just din wanna come back to this place. It's like an empty shell now.

I'm the only person from Flat 11 (2005-2006) left in Rayleigh at this point of time. The rest have either moved off or gone away.

On Sunday nite, the few of us who were still around said our goodbyes to Lin Lin. She left for home on Monday. I was going away on Monday too. Michael was saying that after that nite, Flat 11 (2005-2006) officially has come to an end.

I guess in a way, it was fitting - Lin Lin was the very first person i met from Flat 11. So it is only right that the last person i bid farewell to was her.

I just got back a couple of hours ago - and i was surprised at how bad it hit me. Got emotional all over again - different places on campus brought back the memories, memories of a wonderful time which seem like a lifetime away. Not just me flatmates - me other mates, me lil sister, me coursemates...

*sigh*

Well, we did have the time of our lives during the summer - and i guess that while things will never be the same again, i can always look back and say "At least we had that summer together".

Into the West - Annie Lennox

2006-09-25T01:20:00.000+01:00

I'm travelling - finally! Can't believe the last time was Paris in April! No, no, the numerous trips to London doesn't count.

I'll be heading west, to Bristol, then to Wales! Yeah, going to Wales was one of the must-do things - it's cuz the last time I was here, i din go there. After more than 12 years, looks like i finally will!

The best thing bout this trip is that everything is so uncertain! Cool! We just got our bus tickets to Bristol. From then on, it's all playing by ear. And i dun even know when i'll be back! When i feel like it. When i feel ready!

So not many posts to be expected in these coming days.

Just to end off wif a clip i stumbled upon accidentally - brilliant female vocalist, acoustic guitars! I'm a fan now! Enjoy.

Paramore

Hero - Enrique Iglesias

2006-09-24T14:52:00.000+01:00

Besides the brilliant acting, the only other thing i benefitted from watching "Closer"* was finding out about this little unknown park in London - The Postman's Park.

It's a small little quiet place - used to be the hang-out for postmen. The main attraction now is the special wall set up to remember acts of heroism. Londontown.com describes it as "[t]he brainchild of painter and philanthropist G F Watts, the park’s centrepiece is a sheltered wall, embossed with hand-lettered Royal Doulton tiles, each one commemorating amazing acts of bravery. Time taken reading each plaque (many of which have stunning Art Nouveau borders), following each tragic yet inspiring tale, is time well spent".

Everyone loves a hero. Many still wait for their hero to come and save them.

I've had had the privillege of knowing so many heroes in me life - and sometimes, they are just ordinary people, people who just come up when the day is bad and gives a me a smile - and then i feel like i can face the world, like i can do anything!

Be a hero to someone today!

*While i enjoyed watching the movie, i was pretty disgusted at how "love" was potrayed - that's not love. That's lust! The only person who exhibited true love was the stripper!!!!

Another suitcase in another hall - Madonna

2006-09-24T13:33:00.000+01:00

I actually wanted to use the song in this post's title in one of my first few posts in this blog - but never really got to it. Funny how the title becomes relevant again.

Moved out twice in the space of 1 week. Am now officially out of Flat 11 of Rayleigh Tower.

The first time was difficult - the second was surprisingly easy. It helped when i woke up that day in an almost empty flat.

I know it's so cliched but truly, a house is not a home. I dun miss the Flat itself - cuz the people are no longer there. I miss the people tho.

The initial batch - a nice mix, dun u think?

We had some turnover thruout the year and some wonderful new mates.

So what happens now? Another suitcase in another hall.

So what happens now? Take your picture off another wall.

Where am I going to? You'll get by, you always have before

Where am I going to? Don't ask anymore...

I could have danced all night - Jamie Cullum

2006-09-23T00:44:00.000+01:00

I know i'll prolly regret posting this up...

See me like you've never seen me before (and most prolly never ever will again!).

Be warned - not for the faint-hearted nor for closed-minded brethrens... ;-P

Dancing...

p/s - Shelby, trust me - this video is worth your time and effort to wait for it to load!

Save the best for last - Vanessa Williams

2006-09-22T12:12:00.000+01:00

It was supposed to be a small dinner, a double date. But i started asking more people and the numbers grew and we had a full blown Flat 11 party! :-)

It was truly brilliant. For those who know me well, i would rather have a small quiet gathering where we just sit around and talk. But once in a while, it's just nice to let down our hair (short or long) and just have a crazy time!!!!

Last nite was one of those times.

The food was excellent. Almost everyone chipped in - there were so much food that no one hardly touched the rice. My fusion dishes were a hit! A Malaysian Thai chicken curry and and modified "kung poe" chicken. :-)

We were entertained by my huge playlist - which satisfied everyone - first we had the Chinese selection when the Chinese girls went crazy over Jackie Cheung. Later we had of my favs - Queen, Beatles, Matchbox 20, Oasis, Britney Spears(!), and finally, some real "party" music to groove and dance wif!

We just went crazy - screaming, shouting, talking at the top of our voices, breaking out into songs. Then i started dancing on the bench and everyone soon joined me - we did some synchronised dancing up there. Sachin and Chiaki did a brilliant duet robot dance. We would have gone on the table if the ceiling wasn't so low!

I could have danced all nite...

It would be our final party in the flat - and everyone agreed it was the best. I guessed we just saved the best for last.

The highlight was when we surprised Song Ke with a birthday cake. We had to use our creativity, making a candle out of a disposable chopstick, distract her with crazy antics. She din suspect a thing cuz we had been so crazy all nite anyway. When we finally got the cake out and sang to her, she was so touched that she actually broke down and cried!!!!

But after that, the festivities continued! :-)

Good food, excellent music, great company, wonderful fun! I shud consider changing line and going into event management! ;-P

All in all, a fitting finale. I'll be moving out of Flat 11 today for good. I'll miss the place.

Why do fools fall in love? - Diana Ross

2006-09-21T14:46:00.000+01:00

The following incidents are based on stories circulating the campus. Names have been changed, of coure, but if any of the characters sounds like you, it probably is! ;-P

Story #1

Fletch liked Jenny a lot. He pursued her relentlessly. No doubt she was flattered. She finally gave in to his charms - and his... erm... demands.

No sooner than that happenned, Fletch turned cold towards her. He soon set his sights on another girl. Jenny was devastated. More than that, actually - she had a mental breakdown. She couldn't continue her stuides and had to return to her home country.

Story #2

David was smitten over Suzie. If anyone had ever fallen for a girl, it was not as close as how David fell. Heads over heels doesn't even begin to describe his feelings for her.

His flatmates all know about it. Everyone knew about it. Everyone but Suzie...

But David was too scared to "make a move". He kept getting mixed signals from her. He procrastinated.

Now it's too late. Suzie has left - and David will just have to get on life knowing he'll never see her again - and wonder "What if...".

Story #3

Cassie broke up wif her boyfren of many years. Apparently, since being here, the guy started seeing someone else.

Cassie thought to herself - if he can do that why can't i?

Now, Kevin is in her life - he's like a sweet little puppy dog! He follows her wherever she goes, he jumps when she tells him to.

"Kevin's just a fren".

Riiiiiight..... frens sleep together...

Story #4

Shelly has been going out with Ritchie like for so long. And just like Cassie, she claims that he's just a fren. She recently met Jude and they hit off really well. Until Jude found out bout Ritchie.

Shelly insists that Ritchie is just a fren - but she cant stop seeing him, nor tell him about Jude.

I can go on...

Really depressing stories, aren't they? But each time i am confronted with such stories, i think of Wei and Linda (real names!!!!). To some of us, they are the perfect couple! :-)

It's such a joy to see them together - two wonderful people, in love wif each other.

Wei is the nicest guy in me flat. Altho he doesnt say much, he doesn't have to. The look on his face, his dimpled smile, his easy-going manner, his responsilbility won us all over and over again! In fact, there was only one incident when Wei actually got angry - and we still laugh over it! Mind you, Wei's anger is really really mild!!! It was more of a shrug, a shake of his head and a sigh!

Linda on the other hand makes up for Wei's quiet ways. No, she is not not noisy - but she is certainly chatty. There is never a moment's silence wif her around - and i mean that in a nice way. She is so frenly and open - and always ready with a nice hearty laugh. She is just so full of life.

Put them together and you get a couple that dreams are made of!

I've been blessed just being their fren and seeing them together - and no matter how many horror stories i hear of relationships which caused so much heartache, Wei and Linda reminds me always that there is still hope for real love!

Let me end wif one story Linda told us the other day - i'm always a sucker for love stories and i was pressing her for some juicy details! She told us of one incident when she was returning to her hometown via train. The train makes a short stop at Wei's town - just a couple of minutes or so. But Wei was there, waiting for her. It may have been 2 or 3 minutes, and she prolly couldn't get off the train but it must have been special - and she still remembers that incident.

Come on, altogether now - "Aww.... so sweet".

Miss you guys! Take care.

Let me let go - Faith Hill

2006-09-21T14:04:00.000+01:00

Letting go is part of moving forward

Clark Kent, Smallville Season 1 Episode 13

But Clark, what if one does not want to let go????

Beautiful - Christina Aguilera

2006-09-21T07:15:00.001+01:00

I could watch this over and over again!!!! Actually, i have! ;-P

Alonso's goal

One night in Bangkok - Phil Collins

2006-09-21T03:01:00.000+01:00

In one night, the PM was ousted and the army has taken over control of Thailand.

I followed the news (belatedly, now that i dun have internet connection in me room... heck, i dun even have a room to call me own!!!) with some concern.

Sure, many Thais are glad that Thaksin is out. Even the King of the land has given his blessings to Sonthi.

But - correct me if i'm wrong - weren't the elections scheduled to be held in October or November this year?

As a lawyer and a student of human rights (hopefully an activist, soon), i am concern over the hijacking of democracy in that one fateful night in Bangkok.

Ideally, if the people were not happy with the government - and/or the PM -, they should voice it thru the next election. Ousting him by force does not reflect democracy.

What is causing greater concern is that while Thaksin was allegedly ousted for his corrupt practices, Sonthi has announced that the next elections will only be held next year and that the new constitution will be ready also by that time. So in the meantime, there will not be a democratically elected government running the country? Worst of all, there is no constitution????? What is wrong with the previous one? (the last question is asked out of ignorance. Can anybody enlighten me?)

It worries me - but then again, i am a worrier.

At least that fateful nite in Bangkok was also a bloodless nite. Let's hope and pray that it remains that way.

No need to argue - The Cranberries

2006-09-19T11:35:00.001+01:00

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

These were the words quoted by the Pope last week which caused anger among people of a certain faith. So are the quoted words true?

Let's look at the response. It has been varied but this caught me eye today:-

Militants vow war, Vatican tries to calm Pope row

By Stephen Brown and Philip Pullella

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Al Qaeda militants in Iraq vowed war on "worshippers of the cross" and protesters burned a papal effigy on Monday over Pope Benedict's comments on Islam, ...

In Somalia, an Italian nun was killed on Sunday in an attack one Islamist source said could be linked to the dispute.

Res ipsa loquitor.

Goodbye Alice in Wonderland - Jewel

2006-09-18T14:16:00.000+01:00

It's not the ending that matters. It's the journey.

Lex Luthor, Smallville Season 1 Episode 11

What a journey it has been! :-)

p/s - I've officially moved out from me room. Will have to now blog from the PC labs so that means very few photos from now on. However, I'll be "squatting" in Rayleigh for a bit more before moving to London next month - unless i get employment here.

Wishing you were somehow here again - Sarah Brightman

2006-09-18T00:35:00.000+01:00

Sarah Brightman - Wishing you were somehow here again

Wishing you were somehow here again
wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed,
somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again
knowing that I never would...

The gift - Jim Brickman

2006-09-17T21:33:00.000+01:00

It's beginning to feel like Christmas! LOL!!!!

It's our last nite nite here - and some habits die hard. I may have finished me dissertation well ahead of time but i've left packing right up to the last possible minute!!! Looks like there's not gonna be any sleep tonite!

But me not the only one! Everyone else is packing now.

Anyways, back to the Christmas-sy feeling. I guess it must be a Chinese culture thingy cuz the flat mates from China have been giving everyone farewell gifts! In fact, just as i was doing this post, Di came over and passed me something!

So i've been busy - not buying stuffs, but me decided to do rely on me creative side. Hehehe. Me have been folding little green origami piggies!!!! Yeah, just like back home in M'sia when i'd be busy making bookmarks on X'mas eve!

Some of the gifts are really nice - like the one on the right. Me mate actually got someone to buy it from Shanghai especially for me!!!! 8 little doggies - go here to see close-ups of them!

So this is it! Our life here is drawing to a close. This morning, after sending off Linda, i noticed that some leaves have oredi changed colour! Autumn is coming fast! Liverpool lost to Chelsea today - and i remembered that on the day when i first got here last year, Chelsea thrashed Liverpool 4-1!

The circle is complete. The end is here. A new beginning beckons. It has been really hard and painful to say goodbye. But in a weird way, i should be thankful that it's like that instead of a feeling of joy and relief. It's only painful because i've had had some amazing experiences! After all, saying goodbye to someone who is not special never hurts.

Thank you, Lord!

I will survive - Cake

2006-09-17T01:21:00.000+01:00

It's past 1 am in the morning and i'm in the computer labs again. But this time, not to do me dissertaion. The internet connection in the halls are down again.

So this will be a photo-less post* - altho i wished i could post some up!

It's over - Saturday the 16th is over. I had anticipated it to be the hardest day - and as usual, when it comes to bad things, i'm seldom wrong! But the fact that i'm here blogging about it in the wee hours of Sunday morning is proof that i had survived it!

But it sure din seem that way early in the morning. It was just exactly like how i feared - and even worse!

But somehow, as the day progressed, things got better. In fact, at some points, it had been a pretty brilliant day! Thank God for activities to keep me busy. We finally played with the (green - naturally) frisbee - outside (we played it along the corridors of the halls the other day). I bought the frisbee in early summer but somehow, we never got to play it - til yesterday. There were only the 3 of us, tho - and while i impressed wif me one handed catch technic, i suck at throwing the frisbee long distance! But still, we had an absolutely brilliant time. :-)

Then later in the nite, Linda - Wei's girlfren - cooked dinner for us. The food was really good (prawns! *drools*) - and we had wine and whiskey too. But the best was just having a sit down dinner together, talking and laughing away.

So while it was a difficult time - actually the most difficult time so far - the hours passed by quickly.

And the good thing is that i know if i managed to go thru yesterday, i will survive the coming 17 days or so. Then, there is one day which could rival yesterday. But til then, i will survive! Thank God!

*I'm back in me room and discovered the internet is back on - which explains the photos added in! :-)

When I see you smile - Bad English

2006-09-16T17:40:00.000+01:00

With Buffy's 7 seasons all watched oredi, i've found - and fallen in love with - a new series. Smallville!

Wow, so brilliant! I really like the idea behind it. It's so cool. A look at Clark Kent when he's a teenager, how he comes to terms with who he is. To me, so far at least, it just doesn't have the humour and wittiness of Buffy. But in the other areas, it is excellent! Again, the baddies in each episodes are not the main attraction - but rather, the relationships! Clark wif his parents, wif Lex, and wif Lana.

Lana.... *swoons*

;-P

So sad cuz we all know Clark never ends up wif Lana...

I found this video of one of me all time fav songs (altho the original version by Bad English is nicer) which shows clips from Smallville. Enjoy!

When I see you smile

妹妹, can't believe that I'll prolly never see your smile again. Have a wonderful journey - I'll be praying.

You've got a friend - Carole King

2006-09-15T22:33:00.000+01:00

2 incidents today reminded me wat a real fren is... and is not!

I chatted wif me "mamak-kaki" mate again - the second time in this week. The thing about it was that the last time i spoke to him was some time last year! Yet, when i called him again this week, we just picked up where we left off - the months just melted away and altho he was in his house while i sat in the sun next to the lake, it was no different than when we sat in the mamak stall behind his house like we always did in the months before i came over here.

It just feels so liberating to talk so freely about anything and everything! And he'd laugh at me, scold me, mock me - and we'd laugh over it! I'd do the same to him too. And i know i can count on him to give me his honest opinion - even if it's not wat i want to hear. And i really appreciate that!

The second incident was when i discovered another mate being absolutely hypocritical! I was so disgusted over the whole thing. She criticised people about things that she herself did!

I was thinking about how i should tell her about it... and you know wat? I can't! I'm usually a non-confrontational person. It would be difficult for me to tell her about it. So i've decided to just let it slip...

I guess this speaks of the depth of frenship between us - and wat kind of fren i am to her. :-(

Some of me really close mates. Miss u guys!

Always on my mind - Willie Nelson

2006-09-15T11:23:00.000+01:00

This is for me mate who had been looking for sad songs recently...

Damien Rice - The blower's daughter

OK, OK, OK - i confess, it's not for you - just using u as an excuse.... :-P

Fallen - Lauren Wood

2006-09-15T02:12:00.000+01:00

Blackberries are growing wild all over the place. Yet, only few actually take the trouble to pluck them.

But i got a feeling that if the blackberries were placed in a nice huge bowl and left on the table in the common room with a sign that says "Don't take", the berries will be gone in no time. Agree?

Is a forbidden fruit more tantalising than those which are free?

Life - Des'ree

2006-09-14T21:16:00.000+01:00

"Life is about change - sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful... most of the time it's both."

Lana Lang, Smallville Season 1 Episode 2

What a feeling - Irene Cara

2006-09-14T13:25:00.000+01:00

Price of admission ticket - £13.50

Taxi fare (one way) - £7.50

Choc chip muffin - £0.99

The look of joy on me mate's face when she fed the giraffe - Priceless!

:-)

Check out pics of the animals at the Colchester Zoo here, here, here and here.

I'll be okay - Amanda Marshall

2006-09-13T10:45:00.000+01:00

Wow, it's getting harder than expected. This is really the long goodbye! People are leaving slowly and surely. Last Sunday, there were tears shed after the service in Church. On Monday, i saw Michelle off. Soon, everyone will be gone...

I'm actually losing sleep over it. Having really bad dreams. Like earlier, i dreamt that i was leaving saying goodbye to everyone. It was so real... Couldn't get back to sleep after that.

But one thing i'm sure of - when the time comes to actually go, i'll be strong and i'll be alrite.

It was the same last year - yeah, exactly one year ago, when i was preparing to leave home. The thought of leaving really killed me back then. I wondered how i'll pull it thru. Somehow, when the day came, it was easier than expected. I guess i've had too many dress rehearsals in me life...

I'm like that - it's like the stress i go thru before an exam, or in preparation of a Court case. But the moment i sit down and start writing out the answer, the moment i stand up and address the Court, adrenalin takes over - and i actually enjoy it!

Well, i dun think i'll be enjoying saying the goodbyes - but i'm sure i'll be O.K. when the time comes - it's the times before and after it that will kill me...

Emotionally fragile now...

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long
B Andersson/T Rice/B Ulvaeus

Never had a dream come true - S Club 7

2006-09-13T10:31:00.000+01:00

That's not true, actually (the title of this post). Some do happen.

Like yesterday. :-)

Thank you, Lord. I dun deserve it. Thank you.

With a little help from my friends - The Beatles

2006-09-12T02:12:00.000+01:00

Here it is, fresh from the "oven" - and still warm:-

Just thought i'd take a moment to say cheers to me mates who have helped out. For those back home, me ex-Uni mates, Stephan and Ling, and a big shout out to Lee Saan who was a massive huge help!!!! And to Jee Lee for the NUS referrals!

To me mates here - they are truly a fine example of positive peer pressure. They worked hard, hardly procrastinate and put me to shame with their dilligence.

And to all of you there who gave encouragement and said prayers for me!

It's over!

p/s - had a wonderful time yesterday chatting wif me "Mamak-kaki" mate back home. I was lying on the grass in the sun next to the lake and we - one high-flying litigator, one ex-high flying litigator - chatted like 2 teenage guys!!!! It was fun, wif all the accents, the cantonese, breaking out into song, the jokes. Somehow, when i talk to him, i feel pretty uninhibited - he's one that knows the worst of me! Cheers, mate! And thanks for the advice + the kick in the butt!

You'll never walk alone - Gerry and the Pacemakers

2006-09-11T03:24:00.000+01:00

When I feel afraid, think I've lost my way
Still you're there right beside me
And nothing will I fear, as long as you are near
Please be near me to the end

Michael W. Smith & Amy Grant

Thy word is a lamp unto feet, and a light unto my path
Ps 119v105

朋友 - Alan Tam

2006-09-09T22:24:00.000+01:00

I was strumming and singing out loudly Alan Tam's old classic 朋友 today when i heard some excited mandarin chatter out in the corridor. When i finished, there was a knock on me door.

I have fans!!!!! ;-P

No surprise that me flatmates from China have not heard of the song before but they all liked it. They asked for more *beams wif pride* but i sent them away to finsih their dissertation so that we can have more free time next week.

Ah... friends! Truly, thank God for them.

Here's a tribute to some of them - i finally got this photo after more than 4 months! Yup, it was Paris in Spring this year.

Stay for a while - Amy Grant

2006-09-09T14:40:00.000+01:00

I was walking back to the halls when i met Cheng along Boundary Road. It was close to midnite but we stood there in the cold and chatted away.

I was going to the laundary with a bag load of clothes when i met Natsuki at the door. We stood there for an hour or so and chatted away.

I went over to the South Courts to get something from Hong - and we stood under her flat and - yes, chatted away for an hour or so.

I was going to Tesco and saw me flatmate, Michael coming back. Yes, under the nice bright sun, we chatted away by road side - i even sat down on the pavement at one point, until Michael realised that his milk was under the sun all the while!

In the past, we'd prolly walked pass quickly, acknowledge each other and went on, after saying sumthing like "Catch u later" or "You alrite?", or sumtimes, just a simple smile and a "Hey!"

But now, everyone is actually taking the time to stop, to really look at each other, and to actually listen to wat we are saying.

I kinda wished that it has been like this from the start - but i know tt's not possible. The year has been crazy - really busy with studies. No one could afford an hour just standing around chatting. There were classes to attend, books to borrow, research to do, discussions to have, seminars to prepare for.

Still, that's not to say that we are so much freer now. There's much work to do for our dissertations and projects (even tho some have finshed early - woohoo!). Sure, we have been freed from lectures and seminars but i believe we are realising that the end is drawing near. And sure, our studies are important, but people are too - perhaps even more.

The realisation may have come too little too late - but better late than never, dun u think?

I'll have to always remind meself that no matter how busy i am, it is always important to take time to stop, to look and to listen.

It's over - Lisa Loeb

2006-09-08T11:51:00.000+01:00

This is indeed a historic moment in my life. For the first time i my life - well, as far as i can remember - i have completed me essay ONE WEEK BEFORE THE DATELINE!!!!!

*Gasp*

Impossible!

No staying up the night before the dateline, being stressed, working thru the nite, rushing to get it printed and bound in the early hours of the morning and sprinting to the office to hand it in with just seconds to spare.

Nosiree! In fact, for the first time in my life, i'm actualy gonna spend some time to re-read me essay before handing it up - and not serve it fresh from the oven like all the previous times.

I'm really thankful cuz this being prolly the last ever essay i'll do in me life for personal studies, at least i've proven to meself that i can actually finish me work well before time and not leave it til the last minute, literally. By God's grace, of course.

Still... it's weird how empty i feel... :-( After completing me work in the Labs last nite, i wandered aimlessly around the campus, enjoying the solitude that one gets at 4 am, the cool air, the brilliant full moon, clear skies with stars... and i felt sad.

It's over isn't it?

I should be happy. I can now find time to smell the flowers, enjoy the sunsets, live life... but haven't i been doing that all this while?

The end is indeed so near...

Hero - Mariah Carey

2006-09-07T11:52:00.000+01:00

Remember my post on villians? (read it here) Well, i've since been toying with the notion of doing one on heroes.

Somehow, doing a post on heroes is so much straightforward. No surprises to most of you that this little lady here wins it hands down:-

I just completed the final 7th season last weekend (which explains why me dissertation is still not completed yet....). I guess i'll leave it to another post on why i think Buffy the Vampire Slayer is prolly the best TV series ever - for me, anyways!

But as for heroes - and here, i'm talking about real heroes! To me, Buffy is the epitome of TV and movie heroes! She is strong, clever, resourceful, witty, pretty... what more can u ask for???

What really impresses me is the self-sacrificing nature that she possesses.

***************Be warned - super spoilers ahead***************

Trust me, in 7 seasons, there were so many times when i couldn't stand her. But then i had to remember that she was just a teenager, wanting so hard to just be a normal girl, join the cheerleaders, be the homecoming queen, be loved by her parents, be accepted by her peers. For those of you who still remember, the burden one carries during the teenage years is heavy - so you can imagine how much more heavier it gets when you add to it the burden of saving the world!!!!!

I liked the way how they showed her fragility in the later seasons, how she gets beaten up by the vamps, how she gets cheated in love, how she messes up things in her life, makes mistakes, how she struggles wif her home responsibilities - and yet, she never loses her focus. She is, after all, the Chosen One.

She doesn't seek for glory, she doesn't want recognition. Yet she gives and gives without asking much in return. She gave up her teenage life, she gave up her studies, she gave up her lover, she gave up her life - and when she was finally in peace, she gave that up because her friends needed her back.

One of the many hero defining moments to me must be at the end of season 2 - when she was faced with the prospect of having to kill Angel in order to save the world. The other of course is at the end of season 5 when she finally understands what is meant when the first slayer told her that her gift is death.

Yup, that's wat a hero is - not there for the glory, not there for any self-gain, but always giving, and giving and giving, never asking for anything in return.

I guess the close 2nd to this coveted hero spot has to be Jack Bauer of 24 - another one who gives up all to save the world - and someone else gets the credit while he losses everything, is family, his friends, his job... But are all these setbacks gonna stop him? Nope. Cuz he's a real hero. And also cuz he's signed to do another 3 more seasons of 24!!!! ;-P

Jack's defining moment? End of season 4 when they faked his death and he walked away from his life - the just rewards for the guy who saved the world over and over and over again.

On a amusing/ironic note, i couldn't help but laugh when another name came up in the running for the coveted spot - Spike!!!!! Ironic cuz he was the no. 1 villian in me Villians' post! When i did the Villians' post, i was only at season 3 of Buffy where he was the bad guy. But things changed so much in the subsequent seasons - it would be pretty cool to have him to be the best Villian and the the best Hero, won't it?

But nope. He can't He doesn't have that self-sacrificing nature - well, he does, but it's only for Buffy, not for the world or for people around. Everything he does, he did it for Buffy.

Let me end wif one of Spike's defining moment - of course at the end of season 7, when he becomes the Champion! He became the conduit where the sun rays were channeled to kill off all the ubervamps, killing him at the same time. Buffy comes up to him, holds his hand and after all the denying and shadow playing, she looks him in the eye and tells him that she loves him.

In typical Spike fashion, he replied, "No, you don't. But thanks for saying it." And then as the cave starts to collapse, he tells Buffy, "Now go".

After she leaves, he grins and says, "I want to see how it ends!"

Cool. I must get a leather jacket...

Pics obtained from links on IMDB

Lost in your eyes - Debbie Gibson

2006-09-06T21:47:00.000+01:00

I love the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh!

I'm so gonna miss that...

Gone - N'Sync

2006-09-06T13:09:00.000+01:00

I miss having you near me all the time.

I miss not seeing you the first thing every morning.

I miss the feeling that i know u'll be with me every where i go.

I miss the way you caress the back of me neck.

I miss the way how you lightly stroke my cheeks to remind me that u're there.

I miss how you keep me warm in those cold nites.

I miss you...

But all good things have to come to an end - and i had to leave me hair on the floor of a hair salon in Chinatown on Monday. Yes, in case some of you are wondering, me hair knew i was going for a haircut - and after the weekend of nightmare bad hair, i was having a super good hair day again!!!!! But i stood firm this time.

So here's the result:-

It was quite a nostalgic experience as the lady cutting me hair was a Malaysian and recognised me accent immediately! We were chatting away - the usual small talk they make wif you when u get a haircut. I was also surprised at how calm i was thruout the whole episode - altho i realised later that i was gripping rather tightly on the seat's arm.

I kinda like it, tho. Nice change. It was like an Ally McBeal experience as i walked out of the salon, everything turned slo-mo, the gentle breeze lightly caressing me short locks, people walking by all turned to look at me - girls in admiration and guys in envy, of course... hehehe. Of course that din happen but if i did have an Ally experience, a car would prolly speed by and splash water all over me and i stood posing there!

Some of you may also have been thinking that i've become a narcissist lately, wif all the pics of me posted. No... well, yes... i mean, i always liked having long hair and i know that i'll prolly never have hair like this anymore. So i've been chronicle-ling (is there such a word?) it's growth! But be thankful cuz now wif me hair looking like every other chinese guy around, you'll be spared from pics of me!

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday - Boyz II Men

2006-09-05T11:42:00.000+01:00

I'm actually quite surprised at meself at how much i'm affected by the impending farewells. I used to think of meself as one who handled it really well. After all, i'm the kind who thrives on changes - moving on, meeting new people, experiencing different things.

To me, there's never any "goodbye"s - just "see ya"s. "Goodbye"s are too final. "See ya" has a temporal feel about it, and sorta like making an informal contract that we will meet up again. Parting with the sense of knowing that it is only for a short time has helped me deal with the countless of partings i had to go thru in me short life here.

So why can't i do that again? After all, we are in the 21st century. Travel around the world has never been easier (and expensive too!!!!!). Communication has improved by leaps and bounds in the past 10 years. As Natsuki said, we are Human Rights activists and therefore, we will up again in the future somewhere in the world.

The answer struck me yesterday - of why i'm reacting like this.

It's September.

September is the month when we celebrate Shona and Hollie's birthdays.

I loved them. When i had to leave Barking years ago, it was hardest to say goodbye to them - but it was made so much easier cuz i was positive that i'd be back there again, soon, to see them again.

As some of you know, i never saw them again*. The "see ya" said to them on one cold October Sunday morning in 1994 was never fulfilled. The "see ya" was in fact the final goodbye. I can still remember the sad look in Hollie's eyes as she walked out of the door while i waved at her, with a stupid smug smile on me face which was a result of a dumb over-confidence that i'll be seeing her again.

I guess that's wat makes goodbyes and farewells and see yas so much harder these days. I can't help but have this horrible thought inside me that that would be the last time i hear their voice, see their smile, enjoy their laugh, feel their touch.

p/s - many said goodbye to Steve "Croc Hunter" Irwin yesterday and today, we remember the brilliant Freddie Mercury who passed away today in 1991. Life is fragile....

*Their wonderful precious lives were cruelly taken away in a car accident in 2002.

Take a bow - Madonna

2006-09-05T02:30:00.000+01:00

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances

William Shakespeare (From "As you like it")

We had our farewell dinner for Flat 11, Rayleigh Tower 2006 last weekend. Aptly, we had it at this place called "The Playhouse". It used to be a real Playhouse but is now converted into a bar cum restaurant.

Our table was set up right in the middle of wat used to be the stage. The dress circle of the old Playhouse was retained and was decorated with mannequins, watching us on the stage. I was telling the rest that we should all take a bow before we took our seats.

It was a wonderful night. It was the night to remember our "entrances" into each other's lives, and to sombrely look towards the impending "exits" that we'll make. Each person seated around that table had played a significant part in the story of my life here in Rayleigh Tower.

Cheers, guys. You all deserve a standing ovation.

p/s - go here to see the pics of all the brilliant actors and actresses

The Great Pretender - The Platters

2006-09-05T01:50:00.000+01:00

A pic of the National Gallery taken from Trafalgar Square. Now what so special about it?

Well.... nothing! The pic was taken as part of a "cover-up" scheme! ;-P

I was at the National Gallery when i noticed the sun coming out. Knowing that it would mean good photo opportunities, i went down to the square and hung around. Man, there were loads of kids around - and i decided to do a "series" on kids at the Trafalgar Square!

It was quite fun, actually. The kids really knew how to have a good time, chasing pigeons, clambering on the lions in the square, feeding the birds etc. And then i noticed this little fella fast asleep on his/her dad's shoulders - so i sneaked up behind the dad and took a pic:-

I think humans have this 6th sense that tells them when people take photos of them surreptitiously! He turned around almost immediately - and saw me, wif the camera still aiming in their direction!

Cool as cucumber, i made a great show of trying to focus me camera at the National Gallery behind them. He quickly moved away - prolly afraid of this possible paedophile trying to snap pics of his kids. Just to assure him i was harmless, i snapped the pic of the Gallery...

Needless to say, that was the last kids pic i took!

Anyways, check them out here.

You've got a friend - Carole King

2006-09-04T23:58:00.000+01:00

My song is love unknown,
My Savior’s love to me;
Love to the loveless shown,
That they might lovely be.
O who am I, that for my sake
My Lord should take, frail flesh and die?

He came from His blest throne
Salvation to bestow;
But men made strange, and none
The longed for Christ would know:
But O! my Friend, my Friend indeed,
Who at my need His life did spend.

Here might I stay and sing,
No story so divine;
Never was love, dear King!
Never was grief like Thine.
This is my Friend, in Whose sweet praise
I all my days could gladly spend.

Samuel Crossman

There was no other way... but Calvary

Negative energy - Debbie Gibson

2006-09-03T23:38:00.000+01:00

Internet connection is still down in the halls. How annoying. Still, it has been a brilliant weekend. Will blog bout it when the connection is re-established and i get to post some pics too. For now, here's an old post i did but never posted it up:-

So is the bottle half empty or half full?

I was chatting with this mate a couple of months ago - i was telling her about this fren of mine who is 83 years old. And lately, he has found a new girlfriend!!!!

The irony about the whole thing is that she has been around all his life - but it is only in recent months when they began to get to know each other better!

It was interesting to see the response - me, the pessimist was moaning on how they have missed each other for the greater part of their lives. Me mate, on the hand, the optimist was of the view that it's wonderful that they could at least spend their twilight years together.

So wat about u? Half full or half-empty?

p/s - On the happier note, i noticed that i'm beginning to have a more optimistic outlook on things. It's 2 weeks before we leave - and time spent wif mates are becoming more precious. So the short 3 mins burst of conversation before rushing off is appreciated even tho i could moan about how we could have been spending an hour or so if we din have the dissertation looming over us.

All by myself - Celine Dion

2006-09-02T11:54:00.000+01:00

The love of money is the root of all evil, the good book says! It can also be the source of great boredom!!!!!

When Judy called me last week to work some hours this week, i found it really hard not to think of the 6.34 quid an hour. After agreeing to work 8 hours shifts on both Thursday and Friday, she informed me that it'll be dishwashing at the Blues Cafe. I regretted immediately and thankfully decided against working during the weekend too!

Man, it was really bad. I truly regretted it. For one, i had to "reset" me biological clock to wake up for the 8 am shift - which i failed to do.

Secondly, it was super boring!!!!!!! You know the saying "Watching paint dry"? Well, that's a pretty apt description of wat i was doing. No joke.

There were moments when i just leaned by the counter (there wasn't even a chair in the dishwashing area to sit on!) and watch the plates dry off before stacking them and sending them back out again!!!!! No, wasn't being lazy. There wasn't much work to do in the mornings. So i just stood around the dishwashing area and stared into space!

At least at Food-on-3, there are always loads of people around to chat and joke wif, there is always work to do - and time passes so much faster that way.

Being the Blues Cafe instead, there was very minimal staff around - at times, it was just me in the dishwashing and Kylie at the front counter. So no chatting around too!

Thank God that while staring into space, i finally found the radio which was hidden out of sight. So i had SGR Colchester to keep me company - and made the whole thing more bearable! Yeah, i was like singing crazily at the top of me voice, falsetto and all, dancing and whirling around...

I can't remember being so bored before for such a long time! It din help that i had so few hours of sleep.

It was pretty sad, really. None of me "casual staff" mates were around. There i was, in the dishwashing area alone when familiar songs are played over the air and the wonderful memories of the fun we had in that very area came back.

On top of it all, i could have spent the time doing me dissertation or hanging out wif me mates. Instead, i sat on Square 4 all alone staring into the sky during me breaks and had lunches on me own. By the time i finished, i was too exhausted (yes, from watching plates dry - no seriously, it gets crazy from 1:30 pm onwards when ALL the stufss come in, including from Sizzlers, another restaurant on campus. When it rains, it pours!) and spend the rest of the evening watching Buffy.

Last nite, the internet connection went off in the halls... and i felt really so crippled without it. Couldn't check mail, couldn't blog, couldn't suft, couldn't read news.... I'm in the Labs now. The bad news is that since its the weekend, the problem may not be solved til next week. *sigh*

On the bright note, we are having our farewell dinner tonite! :-) Gonna be loads of fun - and pics too! Something to look forward to.

Who's that guy? - The cast of Grease 2

2006-08-31T21:20:00.000+01:00

Hello, my name is Mun Onn and i'm a misery-holic.... NOT!!!!!!

Just to prove it, i'll post something... erm... fun! :-)

Was chatting wif a mate back home the other day and was reminded that today is Independance Day for Malaysia! Hmmm... loads of depressing thoughts when i think of my beloved country...

Anyways, just for fun, i did an online quiz coutesy of Malaysia's own Kenny Sia! It's "How Un-Malaysian Are You?". Here's the result:-

Congratulations , you are 60% not Malaysian.

That means you're as Malaysian as...

Guy Sebastian !

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

OK - only 40% Malaysian. No surprises there. But Guy????? Guy Sebastian?????

Alrite, for most of you non-Malaysians and non-Aussies, Guy is a Malaysian who won Australian Idol some years back!

Then, i remembered one of me youths years ago who commented that i look like Guy!!!!!! Sheesh.... i mean, if he said i look a bit like Brad Pitt or Ewan McGregor or Hugh Jackman, it wouldn't be so bad. But Guy Sebastian??????

Still, after looking at the photo of Guy from Kenny's quiz, i hate to admit it but i do see some semblance.

OK - me no own photoshop (too expensive and me not gonna support the pirates for photoshop) but here's wat i tried to do:-

I
V

I
V

I
V

I
V

I
V

There may be some truth in wat me youth said after all!!!!!!!!

Feeling miserable again.... :-(

Can't fight the moonlight - LeAnn Rimes

2006-08-30T16:25:00.000+01:00

You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like i thought. You're addicted to the misery.

Spike to Buffy, Season 6 Episode 17

There'll be sad songs (to make you cry) - Billy Ocean

2006-08-30T00:53:00.000+01:00

Am feeling kinda down now. It's drizzling outside. Met Tom earlier who dropped a bombshell telling me that he was going back to Poland on Saturday. Earlier in the day, I said goodbye to Natsuki.

2 goodbyes in one day - and many more to come. Not good...

So what to do when feeling down? Listen to sad songs! ;-P

And this - man, this has gotta be one of the most saddest song ever! Put it with some clips from Ally McBeal and you get instant depression!

Alone Again, Naturally

Come, all you chronic "depressors", join me and let the tears fall... down, naturally!

Never can say goodbye, boy - Gloria Gaynor

2006-08-29T08:45:00.000+01:00

OK - so i've moved from Jewel's songs, to songs from Buffy's "Once more with feelings" and now to songs from Ally McBeal!

Who doesn't like Ally? As someone commented - funny but tragic. And as young lawyers in the past, all of us - male or female - can emphatise wif her. After all, dun all us lawyers experience the same things? Stress of litigation, crazy clients, unisex toilets, working in the same place with someone you used to have a crush on, quirky bosses, temperamental judges, office romance, going for drinks at the place downstairs after work, singing and dancing during work.... ;-)

Here's one brilliant scene from Season 3!

Ally McBeal Never can Say Good Bye Boy

Speaking of goodbyes, the beginning of the end has come. Natsuki, one of me coursemates is the first of many frens to leave Colchester for good. Really nice guy - the other day, i bumped into him at our flat entrance and i'm sure we pretty much stood there (in the cold wind, mind you) for an hour just chatting. Brilliant! :-)

All the best, mate!

Under your spell - Amber Benson

2006-08-28T21:58:00.000+01:00

I was telling Hana the other day how i envy her living at Harwich Courts. I love that place. The buildings are in a circle and there's a beautiful green area in the middle. I used to go there in the middle of the nite, lie on the bench there a look up at the stars! It's so peaceful and quiet there, cut off from the loud campus noises, a world of its own. It reminds me of Marley Hall (albeit a bigger version) back in UEL, 4 floors high with our own courtyard at the back.

But today, 2 incidents happenned which reminded me how fortunate I am to be on the 11th floor at Rayleigh Tower.

The first was when i started hearing thunder - but realised that it was bright and sunny. I went to me window and looked towards west and saw a storm over the town area, and the storm was moving towards us!

From the pic above, you can see that on the left, it was bright and sunny while the dark storm was approaching from the right. It was a brilliant view. I went over to Michael's room which had a better angle and we both admired the view until the storm was right over us. When i met Carrie in the kitchen later she was all so excited over it! :-)

Not long after that, i saw the sun shinning thru the storm. I knew it could only spell one thing - R-A-I-N-B-O-W!!!!

A double one, actually - you can make out the fainter one just above the main rainbow. Lovely! :-) The photo doesnt do justice to how brilliant it was, tho.

Yeah, it has been great living here - the views from me room have truly taken me breath away - so many times. And i could just sit by the window and enjoy the view - be it the wonderful clouds in the brilliant blue skies, or the sunrise, or the snow storm, or the misty mornings, or the rainbow, or the sunsets. It has truly got me under its spell!

Here's me tribute to the wonderful views thruout me year here - all glory to God of course!

Going through the motions - Sarah Michelle Gellar

2006-08-27T21:49:00.000+01:00

Opening scene from "Once More With Feelings"! Singing and dancing vamps & demon? Brilliant!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Going Through the Motions

I'm kinda feeling like that these days - going thru the motions. In respect of me dissertation, anyways.

Every night the same arrangement - Right now, i'm chilling out after dinner before taking a shower and going to the Labs to do more work. Tomorrow, the whole routine resets and i go thru the motions again.

You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing - The dissertation is becoming like a real nuisance. It's not like we can't pass - and it's not like it will make any difference to our overall marks even if we score brilliantly for it. So it's just something we have to get it over and done with.

Well, it's not all that gloom and doom. I mean, it is kinda mentally stimulating! Reading case law from Malaysia brings back memories too (me dissertation is regarding preventive detention in M'sia & S'pore). And the hours spent doing it is the only time in the day when i dun feel down about leaving and missing me mates and all.

But me heart is just not in it.

Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavour?

I don't want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
and I just wanna be
....Alive

p/s - today has been brilliant, tho. Hung out wif me me church mates for a while after service, and then met up wif so many of my ex-colleagues from Food-on-3! So nice to see them again. Oh, the sun graced us wif its presence too! Still, seeing them all makes me miss them even so much more...

Walk through the fire - The cast of Buffy

2006-08-26T21:40:00.000+01:00

One of the reasons why i love Buffy the series has got to be the songs they feature. Brilliant stuffs!

I Just finished watching Episode 8 of Season 6. Another excellent episode. Had me cracking up in laughter so many times. But then suddenly, at the end, the mood changed, i was moved to tears - and i was pleasantly surprised to see Michelle Branch doing an absolutely cool acoustic version of "Goodbye to you".

Here's the clip - be warned, tho. Super spoilers contained in it!

Michelle Branch - Live On Buffy

Goodbye To You

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I say-

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Hold on to...
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,

I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to-
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved

I don't wanna say goodbye - but I have to let go, I have to walk away.

Rest in peace - James Marsters

2006-08-26T00:57:00.000+01:00

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matt 11v28

Where do we go from here? - The cast of Buffy

2006-08-25T17:43:00.000+01:00

Don't you just hate it when after having some really bad hair days and finally making the decision to get it all cropped off, you wake up and experience a good hair day?

How now?

Something to sing about - Sarah Michelle Gellar

2006-08-25T12:47:00.000+01:00

I LOVE musicals. I LOVE Buffy (the TV series). So when i accidentally stumble upon the episode in season 6 which was a musical in nature, i had to watch it - even if it contained spoilers.

Yeah, for you non-Buffy fans, you read it right. The episode was turned into a musical! It was truly brilliant! They even came out with a soundtrack for the episode - which i've been listening over and over and over again this past week!

Skeptical? Watch this clip - it's the cast trying to figure out why they are all trapped in a musical world, throwing out their theories and all:-

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I've Got a Theory/Bunnies/If We Are Together

That was so so good. I loved it when Anya goes "It could be bunnies..." and then the rest stare at her and you can hear the crickets in the background (Really! turn up the volume to hear it!)! LOL! And the way the mood of the song changes when Buffy sings her verse, wif the strumming of the guitar without the distortion! Excellent!

Ah, it reawakened the love for musicals in me. Can't believe that i've only caught one musical since coming here! But it has been expensive.

Isn't it wonderful, seeing people just breaking out into song and dance? I wish my life was a musical! Well, in some ways, it has been. It has had it's musical moments. :-)

I missed me mates who won't think twice but break out into song wif me at the drop of the hat!

One of the songs in the Buffy musical (Episode is entitled "Once More With Feeling") is the title of this post. Buffy in that song asks for something to sing about.

I guess in life, that is something we are seeking for, isn't it? It's sad if we dun have it - but when we find it, it can change our lives. Sometimes, the thing we sing about turns out to be a sad song - but to me, having a sad song to sing is better than not having music in your life at all.

Words get in the way - Jewel

2006-08-24T00:30:00.000+01:00

So there i was, in Computer Lab "A", happily typing away on me dissertation, when i looked at the screen and realised that i typed this:-

cy wao d.ne yday yd.p. wao br kcrnaycrb ru Apycjn. 7 brp ru Apycjun. 10z

I was like "What the...??????"

It reminded me of when i was in the cyber cafe in Paris and was using the French keyboard for the first time (it's not the Qwerty keyboard!).

But i was using a proper English keyboard this time. So what gives? No idea. The keyboard just went haywire on me! All the alphabets were scrambled!!!!! So i did wat i knew best - exited Word and went back on again. That did the trick - but it came back again a couple of times!!!!

Still, it was nice being in Lab A again. Lab A was the first cumputer lab i hung out in - nice fast machines wif cool 17 inch flat screens. And just like the first time i was there, i had the whole lab to meself. It was scary tho, cuz it was really late and i was listening to music on me headphones so i din realise i was all alone in the lab til i left. And Lab A is located at the lowest basement level - yeah, the kind wif long dark corridors that you find in horror movies!

Speaking of horror... well, i've made it a point not to b*tch about me flatmates. But this guy is... unbelievable!!!!

Some of you might still remember a couple of months ago i blogged regarding a sign i posted up in the toilets asking guys in general to lift up the toilet seat when pee-ing?

Well, that sign worked. But now, we have a new problem - yeah, look at the new sign put up (not by me, tho).

Our fren has learnt to lift up the toilet seat - but unfortunately, he needs to work on his aim - badly!!!!!! Trust me - i've seen the...nvm.

I'm just thankful that he doesnt do it in toilet close to me room!!!!

Anyways, i've been wanting some physical action for a while now. Tried to get the guys to play basketball but everyone seems to be too busy dissertation-ing. Surely they can spare an hour to sweat it out???

Last evening, i suddenly had this urge to go jogging again. I can't explain it - i wanted to just do it. ;-P

It has been a very very long time! But i took out me Nikes and went out - it started to drizzle but nothing short of a snowstorm would have stopped me.

It was pretty good, actually - i ran around the campus and din find it too difficult. Altho the next time round, i'll run in the opposite direction which will mean mostly downhill!!!! Me heart did scream out at some of the steep areas but other than that, it felt really good, with the light drizzle and all!

It reminded me of why i used to love running so much.

Me thighs feel like jelly now, tho...

Hopefully, i'll get a good sleep now.

Love me, just leave me alone - Jewel

2006-08-23T01:26:00.000+01:00

So there i was, at Camden Town, browsing thru the stuffs displayed in one of the millions stalls there. Love that place. It's got so much character - and other interesting stuffs... and people!

OK - i was looking thru girls' stuffs. I was after all looking to buy something for a girl *ahem*. No, no, no, no lingerie or stuffs like that. Normal girls' stuffs.

And i found it - well, at least i found something close to it. I wanted it in green and orange but it came only in black and orange. O well, the green was negotiable - it was to remind her of me! ;-P

I made a mental note to look around first and if i dun find the green and orange one, i'd come back here to get the black and orange one... until...

This guy came up. The owner - or the store hand. Wateva. With a hint of frustration in his voice - like he was dealing wif some dumb jerk - he pointed out to the upper section and said "The men's ones are there".

What the *%#@*&@*#??????!!!!!!!!!!!

Do i look that dumb????? Ok, ok, dun have to flood the comment box in reply to that!

I rolled my eyes and glared at him - well, if it was possible to do both of that together, then i did it!!!! I replied as exasperated as i could, "Yes, i know". I walked off never to return to that stall ever again.

I got the black and orange one from another stall.

Absence of fear - Jewel

2006-08-22T15:09:00.000+01:00

There i was, standing in Fred's kitchen cum dining, late for me train, but rooted on the spot with tears welling in me eyes...

I snapped out of it. I'm not gonna start crying in front of an old man... or for that matter, anyone!

Just moments ago, he shared something so simple, so profound, so true, so... familiar! Yet, stupid people like me need reminders like that.

He was telling me about Olive, his friend, a missionary, who always said, "Leave it to the Lord". Yes, she lived that. When the missions society told her she was too old to be a missionary, she packed her bags and went on her own. And thruout her life in Kenya, she faced many uncertainties and difficulties - but she learnt one thing. To always leave it to the Lord.

And as Fred shared that wif me last nite, i realised that that was the root of my problems. I'm not leaving it with the Lord. I'm trying so hard to hang on to me memories, to me mates - and the harder i try, the further they seem to slip away.

There's so much fear - fear that things will never be the same again, fear that i'll never see them again, fear that life without them will feel so much inferior, fear that we'll eventually forget the wonderful time we shared.

But what can i do?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's life. We move on. Cest la vie.

Wait, there is one thing - i can leave it to the Lord.

Yet, that is so much easier said than done. I dun know why. Perhaps i'm paralysed by fear...

Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living

You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
(Joss Whedon)

Fat boy - Jewel

2006-08-21T00:24:00.000+01:00

Pic #1 - Anglerfish before a meal

Pic #2 - Anglerfish after a meal!

Pics taken at Natural History Museum

For the past couple of weeks, i've been having trouble eating and sleeping! Dun know why. Ok, maybe i do...

But there i was, wif a loss of appetite and insomnia! Not that it bothered me - din feel hungry, din feel sleepy!

Suddenly, over the weekend, me appetite came back - wif a vengeance!!!! It din help that on Friday nite, i took home 6 portions of lasagne*!!!!!!

Maybe it (the return of appetite) had to do wif the slave-labour work we did on Saturday. But i've been eating like... an anglerfish!!!!!!

Yup, the pic #1 above can represent me last week - and if i'm not careful, the pic #2 will prolly be me next week!!!!

I feel hungry now...

Now if only i can get some sleep!

* i wasn't greedy! I packed for Teddy and Eric who were downstairs but they din wan any. So instead of wasting it, i've had a lasagne weekend!!!! Even used one protion to barter for some roast chicken wif me flatmate! Yes, i know lasagne is fattening - hence the title for this post! *Duh*

Till we run out of road - Jewel

2006-08-20T00:15:00.000+01:00

Today was the last day for me. I felt overcome wif emotion when i clocked out for the last time - alone. We've reached the end of the road.

It was most memorable - for other reasons too! We had a wonderful time - but it was oso the hardest we have ever worked! It was the annual summer cleaning - how we know it's annual? Well, looking at the condition of things, trust us - it has been at least a year since it was cleaned!!!!! Yeah, the sides of the tray trolleys, the floor under the dish washer, the inside bottom of the bins....

But we had great fun - it was Teddy, Praful and me. Close to 8 hours of cleaning, scrubbing, washing! It was fun! We talked about the good times, our mates whom we'll miss, the customers we served, the managers, the funny incidents etc. All the time, we were listening oso to SGR Colchester, the local radio station which plays the "best songs of the 80s, 90s and today"! The same old songs that they've been playing day in and day out! To be honest, i find it painful to listen to it when not working cuz it brings back so many memories - Pink's Who knew, Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, Bryan Adam's Summer of '69, etc.

Oh, i also learned the rules of cricket!!!!!! Finally!

I was glad i wasn't the only one feeling sentimental bout the whole thing. We were oredi missing the others who had finished earlier in the week. Working there has surely been one of the highlights of our Essex experience - go here to see the list of reasons why.

Teddy agreed wif me that we shud have a get-together after we all hand up our dissertations and before we leave Colchester. I'm all for it but a lil' skeptical about if it'll ever work out. I hope it will. I really hope so.

The end indeed is nigh - but for now, we'll live it up... until we run out of road.

This way - Jewel

2006-08-19T00:07:00.000+01:00

There has been a number of people asking me when - if ever - i'll be going back.

Well, the short answer is - I dun know!

Do pray with me. I have no intention of going back yet. Prolly the earliest will be for CNY next year. But you know how things are - esp wif me. It never goes as planned!

I may even stay on in Colchester if i get a job at the Human Rights Centre - the job is just wat i wanna do but staying on here without me mates? *shudder* Dilemma!

Even if i move to London, there's the question of where i'll be staying.

Many options, many choices, many decisions... one way!

Little sister - Jewel

2006-08-18T00:31:00.000+01:00

Whoever came up with the saying "Out of sight, out of mind" has surely not met you!

Miss ya...

Doing fine - Jewel

2006-08-17T16:54:00.000+01:00

Work was alrite today. Difficult, at times, but at least not 4 hours of dishwashing like the other day!

Difficult cuz everywhere inch of that place has so much memories in them. I was alone again - Martyn was around but he was downstairs all the time. The permanent staff were nice but it just wasn't the same.

I got a pleasant suprise when i got back - for some reason, people began flocking into the kitchen today. It was almost like old times and we just hung out for the longest time. Simple pleasures are simply overated.

Oh, i found another one of 李心洁's music video - a "happier" song! She sings of the endless summer days. :-)

沒完沒了

And i finally got hold of Aliz's Paris pics! Memories! :-)

These 2 pics were taken simultaneously!
(Right pic taken by Aliz)

Sometimes it be that way - Jewel

2006-08-16T19:22:00.000+01:00

As most of u would know by now, i've been getting pretty sentimental about saying goodbye to this place and to me mates here. The other day at work, i was the only casual temp staff working and the absence of the rest of me mates was painfully obvious to me.

Today, i dropped by Food-on-3 cuz it was 2 of me mates' last day. *Sigh* It could be the last time i'll ever see them - altho i'll definitely (i got it, KC!) make an effort to catch them before we vacate here! Or go look for them one day!

It just seems such a waste that we were all here for the whole year but only got to know each other in these last month.

Another mate sent me this text message the other day when i was feeling down:-

"But dont u be sad la. At least u enjoyed a brief explosion of friendship rather than it trickle n die a slow death. Like fireworks, u love it while it lasts, wish it could be longer, then wait 4 the next occasion."

Yeah, it has been a brilliant fireworks show. I loved every minute of it and wish it could go on. But I'll wait patiently for the next occasion.

I guess i shud be happy that i had the chance to get to know them in the first place and be thankful for the wonderful times, instead of feeling sad over what could have never been. Sometimes, life is that way.

It's just so strange - i've always considered meself as a loner. Lone Ranger, Han Solo! I treasured my space and guarded it jealously, i loved being on me own. But these days, being alone in my room can be painful at times...

Again and again - Jewel

2006-08-15T21:35:00.000+01:00

I've been singing this song over and over again lately - methinks me flatmates must be pretty mad wif the racket i'm making!

But hey, this is the first mandarin song that i've learnt how to sing - thanks to me mate back home who e-mailed me not only the pinyin but the loose translation - albeit, almost 2 years late!!!!!!

This song oso happens to be the first 李心洁's song that i've heard - so i guess it's only right that it's the first that i can sing!

Here's the video - of her singing it, not me! ;-P

爱错

What's simple is true - Jewel

2006-08-15T19:17:00.000+01:00

人的心情不像房子，花钱就能把它装修的漂漂亮亮！

That's stated at the top of one of me mate's blog. Basically, it means that people's feelings/mood is not like a house which you can make beautiful with money.

I thought that it's really cool. Simple and true. So true!

I got an e-mail from an ex-colleague today. He used to work under me. I had to laugh out loud when i read what he had to say about me:-

"Wow. You seem to be in jovial mood! At least in better mood than when you were here at THC & Co. hehe."

Oh, come on - i wasn't that mean, was i???? :-(

Maybe I was. That was like a different life-time ago. Things were so different. I was the high-flying lawyer (or so i would like to think!) making loads of money - and spending it even faster! ;-P

Yet, now, with no status and no income, i feel that the quality of me life has improved in leaps and bounds!

And while i'm getting sentimental lately - missing me mates, and anticipating missing them!!! - my mood has been really good!

Truly, money can never make u feel good. For me, it's frens, family, and of course God.

Oh, and good food, too! ;-P

Angel standing by - Jewel

2006-08-14T22:51:00.000+01:00

No, contrary to popular belief, i dun just listen to Jewel - altho these last couple of posts seem to indicate that.

I listen also to 李心洁! Some of you would know her as Angelica Lee.

In fact, thanks to a mate back home, i can now sing my very first mandarin song... almost! ;-P

She's really talented! And her eyes... *sigh*

The latest news is that she won the award for the most popular actress at the 11th Hong Kong Golden Bauhinia Awards!!!! Woohoo!

I really wanna watch her latest movie. Been so deprived of Chinese movies - esp Cantonese shows.

Oh well...

Check out one of her music videos here. This is a really nice song. Now if only someone can tell me what the lyrics are saying exactly...

Thundershower

Congrats, 心洁!

Ticket to ride - The Beatles

2006-08-14T01:28:00.000+01:00

There's this feeling of deja vu as i sit here, listening to Jewel, the cloudy skies outside reflecting the emotions in me room.

Am i to go thru this every nite?

The euphoria of L'pool beating Chelsea is gone. The joy of meeting me church mates is left behind yesterday. The sun has gone to sleep. The laksa has all been digested. Yeah, this is the "down" part of the ride.

Join me for a ride? I've got a life-time unlimited ride ticket!

Sometimes i wish that me life is not the roller-coaster ride it has always been. Some of me close mates tell me that the things that happen in me life are stuffs you only see on movies - a case of art imitating life? Or truth trying to be fiction?

Hope - is a wonderful thing. But it can feel cruel at times. It'd be so much easier if hope is all gone and we accept fate as it is. But "...it would take a miracle for me to give up my hope and get on with my life."

Having said that, i know that if me life is anything but a roller-coaster - even if it slows down to be a carousel ride, i would find it too boring!

Boring! *yawn*

Happiness is heightened when one has experienced tears.

Relief is greater after being paralysed with fear.

Reunions are sweeter after going thru the pain of missing someone.

An unexpected break makes a wonderful surprise after all hope is gone.

I've been down so long, it can't be longer still
I've been down so long, that the end must be drawing near
Jewel Kilcher

I am wanting you
And I am needing you here
I need you near
Inside the absence of fear
Jewel Kilcher

Life is a roller-coaster - Ronan Keating

2006-08-13T17:48:00.000+01:00

It's funny how things can just change so quickly. I guess it's all part of the roller-coaster ride of me life which i shud - but still haven't - get used to! :-)

Went to sleep feeling really moody and down. Was planning to attend the evening service today - but when i got up, i noticed the sun was up. And i felt strangely good!

In less than 5 mins, i was changed, washed and rushed down - met some of me church mates at the car park and challenged Michael (not flat-mate Michael) to see who reaches first, him in his car or me on foot! He won, but not by much! ;-)

After service, we started footie talk again! :-) Michael predicted a Liverpool win of 2-1! Yes, he was spot on. I'm impressed!!!!!

Walked back wif another mate - it was sunny, rainy, cloudy... typical British weather!

It was the perfect weather for some some curry laksa! So i tried it out - quite successfully, i must modestly add! ;-P Lack of ingredients - see hum, tau-foo pok, etc., but the taste was quite right!!!

Thereafter, it was to the SU Bar for the Community Shield! Haven't seen the bar so empty for a footie match!!!!

It was a good game - for us Reds' fans. The starting line-up surprised everyone - no Gerrard, no Alonso, no Bellamy, no Hyppia. But IMHO, the first half team performed really well! Pennant looked really good. Risse's goal was dream-like - taking the ball from deep in your own half all the way to the other end and unleashing a shot into the corner of the net! The defense held their line well - save for one occasion where they were punished by the clinical Shevchenko.

Bellamy impressed when he came on in the 2nd half and it was his brilliant cross which Crouchie put away to win up the Shield!

The future looks bright for Liverpool! Benitez has been shrewd in his buyings. Mourinho? It's obvious that he's leaving Chelsea after this season cuz his buyings dun reflect any looking forward - not to me anyways.

The man who made the biggest difference today? The guy who's career almost ended last season with an eye injury. Reds' fans are thankful he has recovered in a most impressive manner - Momo Sissoko!

Pic obtained from BBC News Online

Now to bed! :-)

What can I do? - The Corrs

2006-08-13T01:24:00.000+01:00

Warning: When feeling moody, listening to Jewel's songs may not help!!!!

The sun shines golden, and I feel like my car
A little run down, a little beat up, maybe just a little green
Maybe it's my battery, maybe it's my starter,
Maybe my heart's too weak
There's just this feeling, thought I had to get going
Got too scary, got too big, got to get out of here
But now i don't know how to get home.

These fields stretch out like patchwork, on my granny's quilt
She used to tell me that
"Life is a series of strange and mysterious things
One minute you think you're up, the next you find you're down"
Your mind says "girl (boy), you gotta stick around"
But your heart says "I'm too weak in the knees"
Oh God, what do I do?

Jewel Kilcher - 1,000 Miles Away

Mood Swing - Debbie Gibson

2006-08-12T23:36:00.000+01:00

It rained almost the whole day, today.

When the skies did not pour, it was grey.

It was strange to wake up from me nap to find the room in darkness.

The sun never graced us wif her presence - not directly, anyways.

The stars - the lovely stars which keep me company on long nights - are nowhere to be seen tonite.

The distant thunder growls softly now as the cloudy skies gives out a strange orangie colour.

I was listening to Jewel's Goodbye Alice in Wonderland* - and it made me feel worse... as if that was possible.

I tried playing the guitar - why is it that i only know moody songs???

It's times like these when i get down...

I like this following song - the video is quite cool but the lyrics are brilliant. The video maker tried to give a translation - not that accurate but you get the idea. Can't remember if i posted this up before - but if i did, it merits a second time!

Kau Ilham Ku (You're my inspiration)

This song is to those whom i miss now. The irony is that the person i am missing the most prolly doesn't have any idea of how i am feeling now...

*which is prolly gonna be the title of me final post here in this blog next month, when i say farewell to this wonderful place - wonderful cuz of the people and memories.

Do you sleep? - Lisa loeb

2006-08-12T12:39:00.000+01:00

Aaarrggghhh... it's so frustrating! I can't sleep! And the weather is absolutely brilliant to sleep in!

Slept at bout 4 am this morning - and was oredi up before 9!!!! The thing is, i'm still tired. And i still wanna sleep. But can't! It's not like i'm awake and fresh - if i was, then i could start doing some work for me dissertation!

It's like i'm suffering from jet-lag! In a way, i guess i am. This is the first Saturday in weeks that i could sleep in. Usually, we start work at 7 am on weekends - the earliest - and i'll be up by 6-ish.

Oh well... can't sleep - so blog! :-) and watch some Buffy, i guess...

Will prolly sleep later in the day... after eating, of course! Am becoming a real pig! *oink* Was complaining to me flatmate last nite - at first it was too hot to do any work. Now it's too cold that all i wanna do is just slip under the duvet and sleep. Me astute flatmate replied "You just don't wanna do your dissertation".

He's prolly right! LOL!

p/s - no, the skin-cut guy in the pic above is not me. still having long flowing hair! ;-P Pic taken years ago in Temerloh. Wanted to get a hair-cut but it's now cold and the long hair feels nice!

Goodbye - Spice Girls

2006-08-11T21:47:00.000+01:00

MSN chat the other day...

Mate: sorry...i meant it's natural mar to get close, get distant, get close, get distant...tis the way of the world

Me: i guess. but am getting quite down over it lately. very.
Me: wif frens leaving and all
Me: some of the people i got to know over the summer are really wonderful

Mate: aiks, but u shoulda gone through it before in uni?

Me: yarla. but that was like so long ago! ;)
Me: kinda regret not getting to know them earlier this year
Me: prolly like walked past them countless of times

Mate: that's true...but then the first day you feel sad, the next day you feel sad, after 5-7 days u don't feel sad, after 2 weeks the memory kinda fades in your mind..

Me: noooo....
Me: that's wat is so sad.
Me: sigh
Me: getting too sentimental

Mate: but that's our coping mechanism! imagine if we never forget the people who mean a lot to us!
Mate: we would be DEPRESSED like constantly

Me: that explains my depression...

Mate: hehehe you're just melodramatic :)

Me: i am
Me: as usual
Me: do i have to cope?

Mate: yes you doooo in order to move on....
Mate: sucks eh

Me: move on... hate that!

Today is the last day that i'll see some of me mates at the work place. Come next week, we have only very limited hours.

Men in black - Teddy and me at closing time today*
I look so fair! Need to get more sun...

I hate goodbyes. :-(

Perhaps it's only apt that just as i got back, it started to rain.

I lost me appetite - not hungry, despite having only 2 slices of bread today. Michelle offerred me some chocolate peanut butter cookie she made - the choc helped! But now it's gone and i'm down again...

p/s - on a happier note, McClaren announced the new look England team today. Looks pretty good! I may be wrong bout that guy. Most important for me was that he dropped Beckham!!! Now that's one goodbye i was glad of!

*Pic taken using a Canon IXUS 30. Cheers, Kathy, for the pic! and the other one with the Taiwanese girls! :-)

You are everything - The Sylistics

2006-08-10T17:06:00.000+01:00

Came across this interesting clip recently. i missed it back then cuz i wasn't a big fan of M'sian Idol.

I really, really, really like this song! It's in the Malay language and translated, it means "You are everything". It's originally sung by the brilliant Ruth Sahayana.

Malaysian Idol 1 - Lee Kar Wei

Here are the lyrics:-

Mungkin hanya Tuhan
Yang tahu segalanya
Apa yang ku inginkan
Di saat-saat ini

Kau tak 'kan percaya
Kau selalu di hati
Haruskah ku menangis
Untuk mengatakan yang sesungguhnya

Kaulah segalanya untuk ku
Kaulah curahan hati ini
Tak mungkin ku melupakan mu
Tiada lagi yang ku harap
Hanya kau seorang

I was gonna do a translation here until i came to "Kaulah curahan hati ini". How do i translate that? Help, people back home!

ADDENDUM (12/8/06, 12:27 pm)

OK. i figured out the translation, thanks to a visit to the Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka website! Cool-eh? Here is the full translation (not a direct translation, more of a paraphrased one):-

Maybe only God knows everything - what I want at this very moment
You may not believe it, but you are always in my heart
Do I have to cry to show that I really mean it when I say

You are everything for me
My heart goes out only to you
It will not be possible to forget you
There is none I hope in, none but you.

Get the party started - Pink

2006-08-10T03:08:00.000+01:00

Finally, i have started on me dissertation. It ain't much but after sitting in the computer section of the reading room for almost 2 hours, i have completed the introduction - which was slightly above 1,000 words. Now i have only 19,000 more to go...

It wasn't very good but it's a start! A draft - the first of many to come. I'm just thankful i managed to overcome the "inertia" and stopped procrastinating.

I've also started to stay up late again. I can't help it. I guess i do me work best at nite - or when it is dark. Less distraction and noise. Further, i dun have to worry the heat of the day - altho the weather has been brilliant, lately. Yup, i'm nocturnal again!

Let's hope i can keep this up.

Work is supposed to end by this week. When they asked us if we dun want to work anymore after this week, we kept quiet. All of us Masters' students know that we shud start doing our dissertation - which has been neglected due to work. But at the same time, we want the money!

Teddy agreed wif me when i said that dun mind getting extra hours next week so that i can earn some more cash - but i'm not gonna be disappointed if i dun get any.

As it is, the rota came out last evening and we do have hours next week!

With other distractions present, the road leading to the end of the dissertation looks long, lonely and windy.

It din help when my supervisor finally got back to me on me outline and bibliography and he was generally pleased wif me progress!!!! I was hoping that he'd scold me and push me.

At least i have hard working flatmates!

Oh well... the journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.

I've taken mine, thank God.

Have you ever? - Brandy

2006-08-09T23:38:00.000+01:00

Have you ever wanted something that you know it's not possible to have?

Have you ever longed for something even tho you oredi have one like that?

Have you ever wished for the impossible to happen?

Have you ever seek out something that you know won't last?

Have you ever felt like you needed something so much for no reason?

Have you ever felt unsatisfied over what you have instead of being thankful for it?

Have you ever wished your heart never ache so much for something?

Caught by the camera...

When will I see you again? - 3 Degrees

2006-08-09T00:48:00.000+01:00

Just got back from London. Totally exhausted - but absolutely happy! :-)

The weather today... well, yesterday, was excellent! It was cold but the sun was out! I managed to buy what i wanted to (more about this in another post). The siew yoke ngap farn at Wong Kei was to die for!

But what really made my day was being able to catch up wif some of me mates whom i havent seen for a while. 2 was planned, one was spontaneous and the last one was accidental!

I met up wif an ex-colleague for dinner. It was nice to chat and catch up over kebab - and i had a chance to speak in cantonese - man, i'm really out of practise!!!!

Later, i met up wif Tom, one of me ex-flatmates who is now "interning" in London. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning of time, u'd know that Tom was my "dinner-kaki" - in the past, we'd met up almost every nite close to midnite, cook and eat our dinner.

We had a beer just now and then he took me around to show me the area where he worked. It was really nice to see him again. We made plans for him to come over to Essex for a visit during the Bank Holiday weekend end of this month. That will surely be fun!

Earlier, as i was walking around in London, i decided to call up a mate in Malaysia. She could be coming over here to work. We had a nice chat as i walked from Oxford Street to Leicester Square. Really, really hope she will come over!

Finally, as i walked home just now, i bumped into a fellow M'sian who was on her way home after work at campus. It was getting pretty cold, actually, and i was in me shorts and sandals. But we stood by the sideway and chatted. Even the light drizzle did not deter us! We even made plans to climb up Mount Kinabalu - if we ever end up in Malaysia at the same time in the near future!!!!! We had to end our conversation as it was oredi "morning"! It was then that i realised how cold i was!!!!

It was really really nice, the time spent wif the 4 of them. The past was reminisced, the present was talked about, the future was shared. Serious issues like life-changing plans were brought up - as were some not-so-important stuffs like how me mate knows the new Miss Malaysia personally!!!! IMHO, the depths of frenships can be measured in 2 ways by the things that are talked about - either by how personal, important and serious the subject is, or how trivial and even frivolous it is! I'm sure most would agree with the former. The latter? It's only wif really good mates that you feel unihibited to talk about anything and everything.

Somehow, blogging bout it now sounds pretty uninteresting - nothing exciting or mind-blowing. Yet, i know i'll have that nice satisfied warm feeling as i wrap meself under me duvet later and sleep. Yeah, i treasure me mates very much!

Don't know why - Norah Jones

2006-08-08T08:33:00.000+01:00

On such love, my soul still ponder,
Love so great, so rich and free:
Say while lost in holy wonder,
"Why, O Lord, such love to me?"
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Grace shall reign eternally.
John Kent

Pic taken at Taiping Lake Gardens

How am I supposed to live without you - Michael Bolton

2006-08-07T13:49:00.000+01:00

*Due to threats made against the blogger, the scheduled post regarding the movie "The Lakehouse" has been indefinately postponed ;-P*

It was with some nostalgia and interest when i read that yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the internet! Yup, it was on the 6th August 1991 that "...links to the fledgling computer code for the www were put on the alt.hypertext discussion group so others could download it and play with it" (read it here).

The internet is only a teenager! So young!

But yet, can you imagine the world today without internet? I don't know about you but the internet is so intertwined into my life now that the thought of not having it raises fear in me! I dread the day when i have to move out of Uni campus and say goodbye to the wonderfully fast and reliable 24/7 internet connection we have in our rooms.

I remember the first time using it - it was way back in 1993 when i used it to send e-mails to me mate in Nottingham. Then, i was in Barking, at UEL. As the people back home do not have the technology yet (my family, not my country), i only used it with me mates in the UK Unis who have access to it.

Today, the first thing i do when i get up is to turn on me laptop, check mail, read news and me mates' blogs. The last thing i do before i read my bible, pray and sleep is to turn off me laptop.

The most important contribution to me life is the way how it has helped me - and is still helping me - keep close to me family and me mates. In fct, i felt like i've drawn closer to some of me mates back home since i left there and come over here!!!! With e-mails, blogs, instant messaging, on-line chats and games, the avenues are endless.

Just last nite, i stayed up late reading a mates' blog and viewing her pics - it was like travelling with her.

I've made frens with strangers - and some of them are my closest confidants, even tho we have never physically met!

The 2nd biggest contribution - and mind you, a very close 2nd - is the wealth of info i can acess with just typing on the keyboards! Just today, i was reading online about the Qinghan-Tibet railway, the highest railway in the world - which i hope to take in my ambitious trip of going back home over land in the near future! I get so much details about it, view pics of the interior of the train, see the scenery and even find out the price of the tickets - all in the comfort of me room.

That's just a small example. My ever-curious mind has most of the time been satiated with the info i can find on-line. Gone are the days when i have to go to the library or bookshop and dig up the info.

I know that it is not good but i really wonder how i can live without internet.

I try to comfort meself by reminding me that there had been times when i did go without internet for many a day - like when i went for me back-packing trip into the interiors of Sarawak, or when the modem got fried, or when me PC had to be sent to the shop. I just hope that this means that i can live without it - life may be a little bit more difficult but i have survived without it for so many years before 1991.

Still, i thank God for having it today.

Oops - too many candles?

Belated Birthday wishes, Internet. Here's looking at you, kid!

Money for nothing - Dire Straits

2006-08-06T22:41:00.000+01:00

Aaarghhh.... i'm so pissed! I just watched "The Lakehouse" - due partly to recommendations and mainly on the trailer! What a load of crap!!!!! I just wasted like 1 hour and 35 mins of me life! Sheesh...

OK - since i dun wanna have to 2 movies review next to each other, i'll blog bout it tomorrow. Instead, i'll blog on the wonderful day today - yeah, wonderful until the movie!!!!

Being a weekend, all us temp staff were working today, from 7 am til 3 pm. In addition to the usual cafe duties, there was a women's footie competition goin on and our cafe was setting up a BBQ tent for them too.

But for us at the cafe, business was really slow and well... as Martyn said, we were so efficient that most of the time, we were just sitting around, drinking free drinks and chatting!

Early in the morning, before we opened for breakfast, we were just standing around sipping our lattes and teas. When the breakfast crowd left, we all had a nice sit-down-together breakfast.

Later, after clearing up the b/f stuffs, we just sat around and chat. When our manager saw us, and realised there was nothing to do, she sent us all to the BBQ tent. So off we went, still chatting away.

When we got there, there was nothing to do either. Rose and Kathy sat on the grass, Kevin was busy checking out the girls, Teddy decided to go for a jog (???) while Martyn and i were lamenting the quality of the football that we were seeing!

Seeing there was nothing much to do, we were sent back again to the cafe. But we weren't opening yet so we sat around again and chatted!

Yup, we were being paid 6.33 quid per hour for doing nothing!

But it was really nice - i felt that today, we managed to break free from the usual superficial frivolous chit-chat and got to know each other much better. We talked about our families, our plans for the future, things we did in the past, the pressures we face etc. Oh, some of them finally found out how old i am - you should have seen the way Teddy's jaw dropped when he found out! Earlier, i oso had an interesting conversation wif Kathy bout China and Tien An Men '89, Falon Gong etc.

And we were actually paid for all that! Cool-eh? :-)

Classic - Adrian Gurvitz

2006-08-05T10:55:00.000+01:00

I finally watched it! After all these years!!!! The fact that i know so much of the movie, memorised lines from it - and even know how it ends - but still enjoyed it immensely shows what a brilliant movie it is! But then again, Casablanca is not in every major Top Movie lists for no reason!

I mean, how many serious movie lovers (and even the not-so-serious ones too!) do not know of the following lines:-

Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine.

Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."

Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.

Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris.

Here's looking at you kid.

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

There are a lot of things which make a movie appeal to me (incidentally, i listed down 10 reasons why i think Casablanca is a classic - read it here). One of the main things is the script! Clever, witty, sarcastic, loaded, cryptic, hilarious, romantic - and the script in Casablanca has it all!

Here are some - to bring back wonderful memories for those who have watched it, and to try to induce those who havent to seek it out and watch it:-

Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.

Rick: If it's December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?
Sam: My watch stopped.

Victor Laszlo: You know how you sound, Mr. Blaine? Like a man who's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in his heart.

Ilsa: I wish I didn't love you so much.

Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.

Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.
Captain Renault: That is another reason.

Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never make plans that far ahead.

Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.

Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
[aloud]
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!

Rick: I congratulate you.
Victor Laszlo: What for?
Rick: Your work.
Victor Laszlo: I try.
Rick: We all try. You succeed.

Yes, many a movie have since tried to impress like Casablanca did - but very few succeed like it did.

Satisfaction - Britney Spears

2006-08-04T11:07:00.000+01:00

I promised a fren that i'll post this up - so here it is, mate!

Believe it, and be satisfied

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
to have a deep soul relationship with another,
to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively.

But God to a Christian says,
“No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
with having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone,
discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be able to unite with another until you are united with Me,
exclusive of anyone or anything else,
exclusive of any other desires of longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing,
and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
one that you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the very best.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things,
keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM,
keep listening and learning the things that I tell you,
you just wait, that’s all.
Don’t worry. Don’t be anxious.
Don’t look around at the things others have gotten or that I’ve given them.
Don’t look at the things you think you want.
You just keep looking at Me,
or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready,
I’ll surprise you with a love more wonderful than any you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready,
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time)
until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me,
and the life I prepared for you,
you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me,
and thus is the perfect love.

And dear one,
I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me,
and enjoy materially and concretely,
the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love.

Know I love you utterly,
I am God.
Believe it, and be satisfied.”

I dun know who authored it - it was given to me by this girl more than a decade ago, jus before she blew me off! On hindsight, that was a good tactic on her part!!! LOL!

Don't you forget about me - Simple Minds

2006-08-03T19:22:00.000+01:00

Aliz left the other day. The other flatmate who had left is Alberto, our Italian mate. He shud be glad that he has left a lasting impression - especially on me!

Today, i was serving a group of Italian students. Living wif Alberto here for 6 months, i've learnt that the Italians normally emphasise the 2nd but last syllable. So for example, when you say me flatmate's name, you emphasise the "ber", dragging it slightly.

Anyways, we were serving lasagne or risotto. There was this Italian girl who couldn't speak English. So i just pointed to the food and said in my best Italian accent, "lasagne, risotto", emphasising and dragging the "sag" and "sot". Her fren reacted in surprise, asking me if i was Italian!!!! LOL!

Maybe he saw me doing the "What the...???" gesture earlier (see pic on the right)! ;-P

NOTE: To those who watched Russell Peters, no, this gesture is not what he said it is!!!!! I've confirmed it wif a true Italian. Yes, it can mean what Russell said it meant, but it's generally used to ask "What is it?" or "What is going on?"

You can oso see it being used by Italian football players - who are no doubt using it in the Russell Peters meaning!!!!!

Ah, Alberto has left his legacy here! He would have been proud! :-)

Something Stupid - Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman

2006-08-02T13:38:00.000+01:00

OK. In light of the gloomy conditions, here are some really laugh-til-you-roll-on-the-floor-gasping-for-air clips!!!!

Unfortunately to those non-Canto speaking readers, these clips are in Cantonese.

新美女與野獸

新白雪公主

The time of my life - Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

2006-08-02T12:56:00.000+01:00

It's August! I have less than 2 months left before i say goodbye to... my world as it is!!!!!

I'll be saying goodbye to me flatmates, to Colchester (no big regret there, tho), to the Uni of Essex, to all me mates who'll be returning to their own respective countries, to student life... i'll even say goodbye to this blog!!!! Yeah, I won't be in Rayleigh Tower anymore - so no more Rambling in Rayleigh*!!!

It hit me just as Aliz left yesterday (see previous post).

It kinda got me down. The summer has been absolutely brilliant!!!!! It really took a while for things to "happen" for me here - and it did. And i'm having the time of me life! I just wish it won't end - but that's life. And i just have to grow up and get on wif life.

I'm really gonna miss the summer time i had here - truly thank God for an awesome time!

The other day, one of the manager, the least liked among all - actually, the only one not liked at all - tried to "punish" Kevin and me (well, we were hanging around chatting - but that was cuz there was nothing to do! We completed all our tasks and things were cool!) and got us to peel a whole bag of potatoes!!!! But we ended up having such a great time!!!! We were in the kitchen wif the radio blasting out loud and we were just chatting all the time. Kathy walked past and gave me a nudge and said "Hi", Prafull came over and fooled around wif us for a while, Sen conspired wif Kevin for a ciggie break later, Danny the cook joined us in our conversation off and on while he prepared lunch.

Then, Bryan Adams' Summer of '69 came on and Kevin and i started singing along wif it. Danny laughed - he said "The best days of your lives - peeling spuds!"

I replied, "Yeah, the Summer of '06 - the best days of our lives"! :-)

Even that manager later conceded that "They looked like they enjoyed it, didn't they?"

We did! :-)

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever - forever, no

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

*Of course a bloggerholic like me will be back - but it'll be a WordPress Blog. Look out for "The Movie in My Mind" come October 2006!!!!

Sadness - Enigma

2006-08-01T18:17:00.000+01:00

It has been cloudy these past couple of days. It's oso cloudy inside me now. :-(

Aliz left early this morning - and i din say goodbye...

Aaaarrrgrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wasn't feeling too well - was physically exhausted after the long weekend of work and less than 6 hours of sleep each day. Getting caught in the rain yesterday din help too.

I popped 2 panadols and went to bed early last nite.

I thought i heard someone knocking on me door. I'm sure i heard happy voices chatting in the kitchen til late. I wasn't surprised. It was Aliz's last nite and we were to stay up and drink and chat. But i just couldn't muster enuf strength to get up and join them. The spirit was very willing indeed - but the flesh was weak.

When i woke up in the morning, i was told that she had oredi left. And that she was asking for me a couple of times last nite. :-(

I had promised her that i'd play me guitar for her before she leaves.

Broken promises.

Unsaid goodbyes.

I'll prolly never see her again.

They told it was a wonderful time last nite - just like the good old times.

I was pretty frustrated - of all the nites i had to be totally wasted, why last nite???? Why?????

Run to you - Whitney Houston

2006-07-31T11:45:00.000+01:00

I got tagged (man, this feels so juvenile!!! ;-P). You know, the posts where people lists out stuffs and then they ask their blogmates to do the same.

But as i explained to me mate, i won't do it - i can't! I tried but among other things, i can't limit meself to just 5 songs which i think are awesome. And 5 people whom i'd like to meet. Greedy little fella, aren't i?

Just songs itself - well, there are so many! There's Foolish Games by Jewel, Stay (I missed you) by Lisa Loeb, Linger by Cranberries, Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, Unwell by Matchbox 20, Kau Ilhamku by Manbai, Kaulah Segalanya by Ruth Sahayana, Lauryn Hill's version of Can't take my eyes off you... i can go on and on.

But i just wanna share one song - a Christian song.

It's a really really old song. Most of you prolly have not heard of it - in fact, when i first heard it, it was on a CD entitled "Classic Gold". So u can begin to imagine how old it is. It's Benny Hester's When God Ran.

Do u know when God was pictured in the Bible to run? Well, i'm sure you know - but never really realised it. Look at the lyrics below.

Such a brilliant song, one that seldom fails to move me to tears. A song of love and forgiveness. A wonderful and tender picture of God - how great he is, yet how much he loves you and I.

When God ran

Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise
When God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise
He brought me to my knees
When God ran

I saw Him run to me, and then I ran to him

Holy One, Righteous Judge
Who turned my way
Now I know, He's been waiting
For this day

And then he ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, “Son”,
He said “Son”
“My son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me
When God ran

To those who may not understand or appreciate the lyrics, try reading this for context.

Thank you - Dido

2006-07-30T15:43:00.000+01:00

My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey...

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain...

I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there
they'll all imply that I might not last the day

And then you call me
And it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Hey, today was a pretty bad day - in fact, me first bad day at work. But having you around, hearing your voice, seeing your smile, feeling your touch, helps. A lot! Cheers, mate! :-)

Imagine - John Lennon

2006-07-29T16:47:00.000+01:00

I was wandering in the British Museum when i came across this exhibit:-

It was entitled "The Tree of Life". Truth be told, upon closer inspection, my initial reaction was one of disgust!

You see, it was sculpture of a tree made out of metal gun parts (see pic on the right)!!!!

That was so wrong - so i thought! A tree is a symbol of life - a beautiful thing! Guns are symbols of destruction. How can you put those 2 together?

But there it was - instead of beautiful green leaves, rusted metal gun magazines covers were used. Instead of wood and bark, parts of weapons which were used to shed blood were in place.

Then i read the description of it - and me perspective of it changed 180 degrees.

Read for it yerself (sori for shaky pics. Do not adjust your screens!!!):-

Suddenly the sculpture changed into a work of beauty, of hope. What a brilliant idea, trading farming tools for weapons - tools to help growth for tools which cause destruction.

I have no doubt that Bishop Dom Dimis had these verses in mind:-

He will judge between the nations and will settle disputes for many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.

Isaiah 2v4

In today's world with much violence and war, we can only hope for more "Trees of Life" - that the people will exchange their guns for farming implements. Let us continue to pray for peace - especially in the Middle East.

For more of me pics on the Tree of Life, go here.

Check out more about the Tree of Life here (including much better pics of the tree)!

Bad - Michael Jackson

2006-07-28T09:47:00.000+01:00

One of me church leaders observed years ago that whenever we have a short skit, it'd normally involve gansters and/or bad guys. To him, it was inevitable - he reasoned that we all "grew up" in church and thus we never had the chance to be bad! So we'd jump at the chance to smoke, drink, beat up people - even if it was all acting!!!!

Yes, i love to act as a bad guy. They have all the fun, dun they? ;-P

This post is a tribute to the villians in movies and TV series (and partly inspired by someone who blogged about how much she liked the Terminatrix from T-3).

There are the bad guys whom u just love to hate!

The first - and prolly one of the meanest - to spring to mind is the SS soldier, Amon Goeth plyed brilliantly by Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List (left pic).

Now, he was evil personified!

Who can forget the scene when he gets up, goes to his balcony and starts shooting at the Jews just for fun?

*Shudder*

Another one that stayed wif me was Jason Isaacs' potrayal of Col. William Tavington in The Patriot (pic on the right).

These guys are truly bad to the bone. They steal the scenes they are in and they make you wish the worst for them!

Then there are the villians who are just cool! Sure they are evil and all - but they are cool! You enjoy watching them, you want them to pay for their wickedness - but when they do, u kinda feel a little regret cuz you dun get to see them anymore. But they deserved it!

Darth Maul (left) is a good example. For a character who spoke so few lines, he still managed to leave a lasting impression!

Maybe it was cuz he said so little - that made an aura of mystery surrounding him. He was so cool. He was fearless. He took on 2 Jedi Knights (one a council member) willingly. He had this uber-cool light-sabre which only he knows how to use. And he would have triumph over the 2 Jedis if not for the sheer creativity and resourcefulness of Obi-Wan.

I'm sure i was not the only one who was disappointed not to see him again in Episode 2.

Another one is Arnie as the Terminator (right). I'm talking about the original movie where he was the bad guy. And wat a bad guy was he!!!! He's the kinda villian that makes you really scared. I remembered watching it for the first time - and each time you think that he was stopped, he kept coming back.

I guess he made a really good bad guy cuz he was so single-mindedly evil. Can't blame him cuz he was programmed thus. On top of that, he had some really cool lines. Yes, we all know his line. Come, all together now, "I'll be back"!!!! (must be said with the Austrian accent).

One of me personal favourites is Agent Smith (left)! Now, he's a bad guy. But Hugo Weaving played him so so well. I really looked forward for scenes with him in them. He just outshines the wooden Keanu Reeves.

And most of the time, he keeps his composure. He knows what to do. He knows the extent of his own power. I was glad when he came back in part 2. And 3!!!! He was one of the reasons IMHO why The Matrix was such a brilliant movie! You need a baddie like him.

The way he speaks, the manner how he ennuciates every word properly. I loved his monologue on how humans are in fact a virus, a plague. And he is the cure.

Then there was the scene close to the end when he said:-

This is the sound of inevitability.

Cool!

On a lighter note, there's Scott Evil (right) from Austin Power!

OK, OK. I'm biased towards Seth Green! He is brilliant! Who can forget his character in "Can't hardly wait" where he was the typical white guy who wanted to be black!!!! Yet, he can be the super cool Oz in the Buffy series.

But he almost steals the show in Austin Powers. Dr. Evil is the typical villian, the kind that talks too much, that enjoys toying with the hero etc. Scott is practical. Here is an example from the first movie:-

Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
[to guard] All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
[guard starts dipping mechanism]
Dr. Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

Hilarious!

The next bad guy - well, OK, i'm biased again. Some of u guys know i'm a big Hugh Grant fan.

Yup, i'm talking about Daniel Cleaver (right) from Bridget Jones' Diary 1 and 2.

Honestly, i dun know wat women see in Colin Firth's Darcy (sorry, Shelby). Come on, he's so so boring!

Daniel is different! A winning smile, an air of confidence - and he showed us that Hugh Grant was capable at playing a role that did not require him to be a bumbling Englishman!

I was disappointed that Bridget chose Mark Darcy over him.

OK. i can go on and on. There's jus too many to list. Lemme jus end up with me top 3. Mind you, it was pretty difficult! These are the bad guys whom i love to watch - and would actually root for them too - like Daniel Cleaver above!

At NO. 3, none other than Sawyer from the TV series, Lost.

Cool, brave, good looking, mysterious - and well, arguably he has got a heart! of course he will deny it and say he's in it only for himself.

I really really like his character - him and Anna Lucia.

When one of me mates asked me who were my fav characters in Lost and i told him. He said it was typical of me to like the "bad guys"!!!!

Come on, he's not that bad! And he's so interesting to watch! I like it that he has so many "layers" - and he doesn't worry about pleasing others.

Maybe i long to be like him??? ;-P

At NO. 2, Mystique from the X-Men movies!

OK, she's hot! ;-) But it's more than just that! She's brave, confident and powerful! In X-2, it was she who managed to infiltrate Stryker's HQ and got everyone in!

She oso had some pretty cool lines - like this exchange with the Nightcrawler:-

Nightcrawler: Excuse me? They say you can imitate anybody, even their voice.
Mystique: [as Nightcrawler] Even their voice.
Nightcrawler: Then why not stay in disguise all the time? You know, look like everyone else.
Mystique: Because we shouldn't have to.

And NO. 1 - this will be a surprise to most of you!

Spike from the Buffy series!!!!!!!

He's da man! He's everything - he's evil, he's dead, he's immortal, he's cool, he's hot, he's honest, he's smart. His presence is felt in every scene that he's in! And he speaks wif an English accent - the cool kind, not the stuttering bumbling kind!

I loved it how he ended up working together wif Buffy in the season finale for Season 2. And his guest appearance in Season 3 was not only a highlight for me, his character played a very very important role in helping Buffy deal wif her relationship wif Angel!

I think he'll be back in later seasons. I hope so!

pics obtained from various links found on IMDB