Thursday, August 31, 2006
Who's that guy? - The cast of Grease 2
Hello, my name is Mun Onn and i'm a misery-holic.... NOT!!!!!!
Just to prove it, i'll post something... erm... fun! :-)
Was chatting wif a mate back home the other day and was reminded that today is Independance Day for Malaysia! Hmmm... loads of depressing thoughts when i think of my beloved country...
Anyways, just for fun, i did an online quiz coutesy of Malaysia's own Kenny Sia! It's "How Un-Malaysian Are You?". Here's the result:-
V
I
V
I
V
I
V
I
V
There may be some truth in wat me youth said after all!!!!!!!!
Feeling miserable again.... :-(
Just to prove it, i'll post something... erm... fun! :-)
Was chatting wif a mate back home the other day and was reminded that today is Independance Day for Malaysia! Hmmm... loads of depressing thoughts when i think of my beloved country...
Anyways, just for fun, i did an online quiz coutesy of Malaysia's own Kenny Sia! It's "How Un-Malaysian Are You?". Here's the result:-
Congratulations , you are 60% not Malaysian.
That means you're as Malaysian as...
Guy Sebastian !
OK - only 40% Malaysian. No surprises there. But Guy????? Guy Sebastian?????
Alrite, for most of you non-Malaysians and non-Aussies, Guy is a Malaysian who won Australian Idol some years back!
Then, i remembered one of me youths years ago who commented that i look like Guy!!!!!! Sheesh.... i mean, if he said i look a bit like Brad Pitt or Ewan McGregor or Hugh Jackman, it wouldn't be so bad. But Guy Sebastian??????
Still, after looking at the photo of Guy from Kenny's quiz, i hate to admit it but i do see some semblance.
OK - me no own photoshop (too expensive and me not gonna support the pirates for photoshop) but here's wat i tried to do:-
V
I
V
I
V
I
V
I
V
There may be some truth in wat me youth said after all!!!!!!!!
Feeling miserable again.... :-(
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Can't fight the moonlight - LeAnn Rimes
You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like i thought. You're addicted to the misery.
Spike to Buffy, Season 6 Episode 17
There'll be sad songs (to make you cry) - Billy Ocean
Am feeling kinda down now. It's drizzling outside. Met Tom earlier who dropped a bombshell telling me that he was going back to Poland on Saturday. Earlier in the day, I said goodbye to Natsuki.
2 goodbyes in one day - and many more to come. Not good...
So what to do when feeling down? Listen to sad songs! ;-P
And this - man, this has gotta be one of the most saddest song ever! Put it with some clips from Ally McBeal and you get instant depression!
Alone Again, Naturally
Come, all you chronic "depressors", join me and let the tears fall... down, naturally!
2 goodbyes in one day - and many more to come. Not good...
So what to do when feeling down? Listen to sad songs! ;-P
And this - man, this has gotta be one of the most saddest song ever! Put it with some clips from Ally McBeal and you get instant depression!
Alone Again, Naturally
Come, all you chronic "depressors", join me and let the tears fall... down, naturally!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Never can say goodbye, boy - Gloria Gaynor
OK - so i've moved from Jewel's songs, to songs from Buffy's "Once more with feelings" and now to songs from Ally McBeal!
Who doesn't like Ally? As someone commented - funny but tragic. And as young lawyers in the past, all of us - male or female - can emphatise wif her. After all, dun all us lawyers experience the same things? Stress of litigation, crazy clients, unisex toilets, working in the same place with someone you used to have a crush on, quirky bosses, temperamental judges, office romance, going for drinks at the place downstairs after work, singing and dancing during work.... ;-)
Here's one brilliant scene from Season 3!
Ally McBeal Never can Say Good Bye Boy
Speaking of goodbyes, the beginning of the end has come. Natsuki, one of me coursemates is the first of many frens to leave Colchester for good. Really nice guy - the other day, i bumped into him at our flat entrance and i'm sure we pretty much stood there (in the cold wind, mind you) for an hour just chatting. Brilliant! :-)
All the best, mate!
Who doesn't like Ally? As someone commented - funny but tragic. And as young lawyers in the past, all of us - male or female - can emphatise wif her. After all, dun all us lawyers experience the same things? Stress of litigation, crazy clients, unisex toilets, working in the same place with someone you used to have a crush on, quirky bosses, temperamental judges, office romance, going for drinks at the place downstairs after work, singing and dancing during work.... ;-)
Here's one brilliant scene from Season 3!
Ally McBeal Never can Say Good Bye Boy
Speaking of goodbyes, the beginning of the end has come. Natsuki, one of me coursemates is the first of many frens to leave Colchester for good. Really nice guy - the other day, i bumped into him at our flat entrance and i'm sure we pretty much stood there (in the cold wind, mind you) for an hour just chatting. Brilliant! :-)
All the best, mate!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Under your spell - Amber Benson
I was telling Hana the other day how i envy her living at Harwich Courts. I love that place. The buildings are in a circle and there's a beautiful green area in the middle. I used to go there in the middle of the nite, lie on the bench there a look up at the stars! It's so peaceful and quiet there, cut off from the loud campus noises, a world of its own. It reminds me of Marley Hall (albeit a bigger version) back in UEL, 4 floors high with our own courtyard at the back.
But today, 2 incidents happenned which reminded me how fortunate I am to be on the 11th floor at Rayleigh Tower.
The first was when i started hearing thunder - but realised that it was bright and sunny. I went to me window and looked towards west and saw a storm over the town area, and the storm was moving towards us!
From the pic above, you can see that on the left, it was bright and sunny while the dark storm was approaching from the right. It was a brilliant view. I went over to Michael's room which had a better angle and we both admired the view until the storm was right over us. When i met Carrie in the kitchen later she was all so excited over it! :-)
Not long after that, i saw the sun shinning thru the storm. I knew it could only spell one thing - R-A-I-N-B-O-W!!!!
A double one, actually - you can make out the fainter one just above the main rainbow. Lovely! :-) The photo doesnt do justice to how brilliant it was, tho.
Yeah, it has been great living here - the views from me room have truly taken me breath away - so many times. And i could just sit by the window and enjoy the view - be it the wonderful clouds in the brilliant blue skies, or the sunrise, or the snow storm, or the misty mornings, or the rainbow, or the sunsets. It has truly got me under its spell!
Here's me tribute to the wonderful views thruout me year here - all glory to God of course!
But today, 2 incidents happenned which reminded me how fortunate I am to be on the 11th floor at Rayleigh Tower.
The first was when i started hearing thunder - but realised that it was bright and sunny. I went to me window and looked towards west and saw a storm over the town area, and the storm was moving towards us!
From the pic above, you can see that on the left, it was bright and sunny while the dark storm was approaching from the right. It was a brilliant view. I went over to Michael's room which had a better angle and we both admired the view until the storm was right over us. When i met Carrie in the kitchen later she was all so excited over it! :-)
Not long after that, i saw the sun shinning thru the storm. I knew it could only spell one thing - R-A-I-N-B-O-W!!!!
A double one, actually - you can make out the fainter one just above the main rainbow. Lovely! :-) The photo doesnt do justice to how brilliant it was, tho.
Yeah, it has been great living here - the views from me room have truly taken me breath away - so many times. And i could just sit by the window and enjoy the view - be it the wonderful clouds in the brilliant blue skies, or the sunrise, or the snow storm, or the misty mornings, or the rainbow, or the sunsets. It has truly got me under its spell!
Here's me tribute to the wonderful views thruout me year here - all glory to God of course!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Going through the motions - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Opening scene from "Once More With Feelings"! Singing and dancing vamps & demon? Brilliant!
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Going Through the Motions
I'm kinda feeling like that these days - going thru the motions. In respect of me dissertation, anyways.
Every night the same arrangement - Right now, i'm chilling out after dinner before taking a shower and going to the Labs to do more work. Tomorrow, the whole routine resets and i go thru the motions again.
You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing - The dissertation is becoming like a real nuisance. It's not like we can't pass - and it's not like it will make any difference to our overall marks even if we score brilliantly for it. So it's just something we have to get it over and done with.
Well, it's not all that gloom and doom. I mean, it is kinda mentally stimulating! Reading case law from Malaysia brings back memories too (me dissertation is regarding preventive detention in M'sia & S'pore). And the hours spent doing it is the only time in the day when i dun feel down about leaving and missing me mates and all.
But me heart is just not in it.
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavour?
I don't want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
and I just wanna be
....Alive
p/s - today has been brilliant, tho. Hung out wif me me church mates for a while after service, and then met up wif so many of my ex-colleagues from Food-on-3! So nice to see them again. Oh, the sun graced us wif its presence too! Still, seeing them all makes me miss them even so much more...
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Going Through the Motions
I'm kinda feeling like that these days - going thru the motions. In respect of me dissertation, anyways.
Every night the same arrangement - Right now, i'm chilling out after dinner before taking a shower and going to the Labs to do more work. Tomorrow, the whole routine resets and i go thru the motions again.
You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing - The dissertation is becoming like a real nuisance. It's not like we can't pass - and it's not like it will make any difference to our overall marks even if we score brilliantly for it. So it's just something we have to get it over and done with.
Well, it's not all that gloom and doom. I mean, it is kinda mentally stimulating! Reading case law from Malaysia brings back memories too (me dissertation is regarding preventive detention in M'sia & S'pore). And the hours spent doing it is the only time in the day when i dun feel down about leaving and missing me mates and all.
But me heart is just not in it.
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavour?
I don't want to be
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
and I just wanna be
....Alive
p/s - today has been brilliant, tho. Hung out wif me me church mates for a while after service, and then met up wif so many of my ex-colleagues from Food-on-3! So nice to see them again. Oh, the sun graced us wif its presence too! Still, seeing them all makes me miss them even so much more...
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Walk through the fire - The cast of Buffy
One of the reasons why i love Buffy the series has got to be the songs they feature. Brilliant stuffs!
I Just finished watching Episode 8 of Season 6. Another excellent episode. Had me cracking up in laughter so many times. But then suddenly, at the end, the mood changed, i was moved to tears - and i was pleasantly surprised to see Michelle Branch doing an absolutely cool acoustic version of "Goodbye to you".
Here's the clip - be warned, tho. Super spoilers contained in it!
Michelle Branch - Live On Buffy
I don't wanna say goodbye - but I have to let go, I have to walk away.
I Just finished watching Episode 8 of Season 6. Another excellent episode. Had me cracking up in laughter so many times. But then suddenly, at the end, the mood changed, i was moved to tears - and i was pleasantly surprised to see Michelle Branch doing an absolutely cool acoustic version of "Goodbye to you".
Here's the clip - be warned, tho. Super spoilers contained in it!
Michelle Branch - Live On Buffy
Goodbye To You
Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.
I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I say-
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
Hold on to...
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to-
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved
Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.
I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I say-
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
Hold on to...
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to-
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.
Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything that I knew,
You were the one I loved
I don't wanna say goodbye - but I have to let go, I have to walk away.
Rest in peace - James Marsters
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matt 11v28
Matt 11v28
Friday, August 25, 2006
Where do we go from here? - The cast of Buffy
Don't you just hate it when after having some really bad hair days and finally making the decision to get it all cropped off, you wake up and experience a good hair day?
How now?
How now?
Something to sing about - Sarah Michelle Gellar
I LOVE musicals. I LOVE Buffy (the TV series). So when i accidentally stumble upon the episode in season 6 which was a musical in nature, i had to watch it - even if it contained spoilers.
Yeah, for you non-Buffy fans, you read it right. The episode was turned into a musical! It was truly brilliant! They even came out with a soundtrack for the episode - which i've been listening over and over and over again this past week!
Skeptical? Watch this clip - it's the cast trying to figure out why they are all trapped in a musical world, throwing out their theories and all:-
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I've Got a Theory/Bunnies/If We Are Together
That was so so good. I loved it when Anya goes "It could be bunnies..." and then the rest stare at her and you can hear the crickets in the background (Really! turn up the volume to hear it!)! LOL! And the way the mood of the song changes when Buffy sings her verse, wif the strumming of the guitar without the distortion! Excellent!
Ah, it reawakened the love for musicals in me. Can't believe that i've only caught one musical since coming here! But it has been expensive.
Isn't it wonderful, seeing people just breaking out into song and dance? I wish my life was a musical! Well, in some ways, it has been. It has had it's musical moments. :-)
I missed me mates who won't think twice but break out into song wif me at the drop of the hat!
One of the songs in the Buffy musical (Episode is entitled "Once More With Feeling") is the title of this post. Buffy in that song asks for something to sing about.
I guess in life, that is something we are seeking for, isn't it? It's sad if we dun have it - but when we find it, it can change our lives. Sometimes, the thing we sing about turns out to be a sad song - but to me, having a sad song to sing is better than not having music in your life at all.
Yeah, for you non-Buffy fans, you read it right. The episode was turned into a musical! It was truly brilliant! They even came out with a soundtrack for the episode - which i've been listening over and over and over again this past week!
Skeptical? Watch this clip - it's the cast trying to figure out why they are all trapped in a musical world, throwing out their theories and all:-
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I've Got a Theory/Bunnies/If We Are Together
That was so so good. I loved it when Anya goes "It could be bunnies..." and then the rest stare at her and you can hear the crickets in the background (Really! turn up the volume to hear it!)! LOL! And the way the mood of the song changes when Buffy sings her verse, wif the strumming of the guitar without the distortion! Excellent!
Ah, it reawakened the love for musicals in me. Can't believe that i've only caught one musical since coming here! But it has been expensive.
Isn't it wonderful, seeing people just breaking out into song and dance? I wish my life was a musical! Well, in some ways, it has been. It has had it's musical moments. :-)
I missed me mates who won't think twice but break out into song wif me at the drop of the hat!
One of the songs in the Buffy musical (Episode is entitled "Once More With Feeling") is the title of this post. Buffy in that song asks for something to sing about.
I guess in life, that is something we are seeking for, isn't it? It's sad if we dun have it - but when we find it, it can change our lives. Sometimes, the thing we sing about turns out to be a sad song - but to me, having a sad song to sing is better than not having music in your life at all.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Words get in the way - Jewel
So there i was, in Computer Lab "A", happily typing away on me dissertation, when i looked at the screen and realised that i typed this:-
cy wao d.ne yday yd.p. wao br kcrnaycrb ru Apycjn. 7 brp ru Apycjun. 10z
I was like "What the...??????"
It reminded me of when i was in the cyber cafe in Paris and was using the French keyboard for the first time (it's not the Qwerty keyboard!).
But i was using a proper English keyboard this time. So what gives? No idea. The keyboard just went haywire on me! All the alphabets were scrambled!!!!! So i did wat i knew best - exited Word and went back on again. That did the trick - but it came back again a couple of times!!!!
Still, it was nice being in Lab A again. Lab A was the first cumputer lab i hung out in - nice fast machines wif cool 17 inch flat screens. And just like the first time i was there, i had the whole lab to meself. It was scary tho, cuz it was really late and i was listening to music on me headphones so i din realise i was all alone in the lab til i left. And Lab A is located at the lowest basement level - yeah, the kind wif long dark corridors that you find in horror movies!
Speaking of horror... well, i've made it a point not to b*tch about me flatmates. But this guy is... unbelievable!!!!
Some of you might still remember a couple of months ago i blogged regarding a sign i posted up in the toilets asking guys in general to lift up the toilet seat when pee-ing?
Well, that sign worked. But now, we have a new problem - yeah, look at the new sign put up (not by me, tho).
Our fren has learnt to lift up the toilet seat - but unfortunately, he needs to work on his aim - badly!!!!!! Trust me - i've seen the...nvm.
I'm just thankful that he doesnt do it in toilet close to me room!!!!
Anyways, i've been wanting some physical action for a while now. Tried to get the guys to play basketball but everyone seems to be too busy dissertation-ing. Surely they can spare an hour to sweat it out???
Last evening, i suddenly had this urge to go jogging again. I can't explain it - i wanted to just do it. ;-P
It has been a very very long time! But i took out me Nikes and went out - it started to drizzle but nothing short of a snowstorm would have stopped me.
It was pretty good, actually - i ran around the campus and din find it too difficult. Altho the next time round, i'll run in the opposite direction which will mean mostly downhill!!!! Me heart did scream out at some of the steep areas but other than that, it felt really good, with the light drizzle and all!
It reminded me of why i used to love running so much.
Me thighs feel like jelly now, tho...
Hopefully, i'll get a good sleep now.
cy wao d.ne yday yd.p. wao br kcrnaycrb ru Apycjn. 7 brp ru Apycjun. 10z
I was like "What the...??????"
It reminded me of when i was in the cyber cafe in Paris and was using the French keyboard for the first time (it's not the Qwerty keyboard!).But i was using a proper English keyboard this time. So what gives? No idea. The keyboard just went haywire on me! All the alphabets were scrambled!!!!! So i did wat i knew best - exited Word and went back on again. That did the trick - but it came back again a couple of times!!!!
Still, it was nice being in Lab A again. Lab A was the first cumputer lab i hung out in - nice fast machines wif cool 17 inch flat screens. And just like the first time i was there, i had the whole lab to meself. It was scary tho, cuz it was really late and i was listening to music on me headphones so i din realise i was all alone in the lab til i left. And Lab A is located at the lowest basement level - yeah, the kind wif long dark corridors that you find in horror movies!
Speaking of horror... well, i've made it a point not to b*tch about me flatmates. But this guy is... unbelievable!!!!Some of you might still remember a couple of months ago i blogged regarding a sign i posted up in the toilets asking guys in general to lift up the toilet seat when pee-ing?
Well, that sign worked. But now, we have a new problem - yeah, look at the new sign put up (not by me, tho).
Our fren has learnt to lift up the toilet seat - but unfortunately, he needs to work on his aim - badly!!!!!! Trust me - i've seen the...nvm.
I'm just thankful that he doesnt do it in toilet close to me room!!!!
Anyways, i've been wanting some physical action for a while now. Tried to get the guys to play basketball but everyone seems to be too busy dissertation-ing. Surely they can spare an hour to sweat it out???Last evening, i suddenly had this urge to go jogging again. I can't explain it - i wanted to just do it. ;-P
It has been a very very long time! But i took out me Nikes and went out - it started to drizzle but nothing short of a snowstorm would have stopped me.
It was pretty good, actually - i ran around the campus and din find it too difficult. Altho the next time round, i'll run in the opposite direction which will mean mostly downhill!!!! Me heart did scream out at some of the steep areas but other than that, it felt really good, with the light drizzle and all!
It reminded me of why i used to love running so much.
Me thighs feel like jelly now, tho...
Hopefully, i'll get a good sleep now.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Love me, just leave me alone - Jewel
So there i was, at Camden Town, browsing thru the stuffs displayed in one of the millions stalls there. Love that place. It's got so much character - and other interesting stuffs... and people!
OK - i was looking thru girls' stuffs. I was after all looking to buy something for a girl *ahem*. No, no, no, no lingerie or stuffs like that. Normal girls' stuffs.
And i found it - well, at least i found something close to it. I wanted it in green and orange but it came only in black and orange. O well, the green was negotiable - it was to remind her of me! ;-P
I made a mental note to look around first and if i dun find the green and orange one, i'd come back here to get the black and orange one... until...
This guy came up. The owner - or the store hand. Wateva. With a hint of frustration in his voice - like he was dealing wif some dumb jerk - he pointed out to the upper section and said "The men's ones are there".
What the *%#@*&@*#??????!!!!!!!!!!!
Do i look that dumb????? Ok, ok, dun have to flood the comment box in reply to that!
I rolled my eyes and glared at him - well, if it was possible to do both of that together, then i did it!!!! I replied as exasperated as i could, "Yes, i know". I walked off never to return to that stall ever again.
I got the black and orange one from another stall.
OK - i was looking thru girls' stuffs. I was after all looking to buy something for a girl *ahem*. No, no, no, no lingerie or stuffs like that. Normal girls' stuffs.
And i found it - well, at least i found something close to it. I wanted it in green and orange but it came only in black and orange. O well, the green was negotiable - it was to remind her of me! ;-P
I made a mental note to look around first and if i dun find the green and orange one, i'd come back here to get the black and orange one... until...
This guy came up. The owner - or the store hand. Wateva. With a hint of frustration in his voice - like he was dealing wif some dumb jerk - he pointed out to the upper section and said "The men's ones are there".
What the *%#@*&@*#??????!!!!!!!!!!!
Do i look that dumb????? Ok, ok, dun have to flood the comment box in reply to that!
I rolled my eyes and glared at him - well, if it was possible to do both of that together, then i did it!!!! I replied as exasperated as i could, "Yes, i know". I walked off never to return to that stall ever again.
I got the black and orange one from another stall.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Absence of fear - Jewel
There i was, standing in Fred's kitchen cum dining, late for me train, but rooted on the spot with tears welling in me eyes...
I snapped out of it. I'm not gonna start crying in front of an old man... or for that matter, anyone!
Just moments ago, he shared something so simple, so profound, so true, so... familiar! Yet, stupid people like me need reminders like that.
He was telling me about Olive, his friend, a missionary, who always said, "Leave it to the Lord". Yes, she lived that. When the missions society told her she was too old to be a missionary, she packed her bags and went on her own. And thruout her life in Kenya, she faced many uncertainties and difficulties - but she learnt one thing. To always leave it to the Lord.
And as Fred shared that wif me last nite, i realised that that was the root of my problems. I'm not leaving it with the Lord. I'm trying so hard to hang on to me memories, to me mates - and the harder i try, the further they seem to slip away.
There's so much fear - fear that things will never be the same again, fear that i'll never see them again, fear that life without them will feel so much inferior, fear that we'll eventually forget the wonderful time we shared.
But what can i do?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's life. We move on. Cest la vie.
Wait, there is one thing - i can leave it to the Lord.
Yet, that is so much easier said than done. I dun know why. Perhaps i'm paralysed by fear...
I snapped out of it. I'm not gonna start crying in front of an old man... or for that matter, anyone!
Just moments ago, he shared something so simple, so profound, so true, so... familiar! Yet, stupid people like me need reminders like that.
He was telling me about Olive, his friend, a missionary, who always said, "Leave it to the Lord". Yes, she lived that. When the missions society told her she was too old to be a missionary, she packed her bags and went on her own. And thruout her life in Kenya, she faced many uncertainties and difficulties - but she learnt one thing. To always leave it to the Lord.
And as Fred shared that wif me last nite, i realised that that was the root of my problems. I'm not leaving it with the Lord. I'm trying so hard to hang on to me memories, to me mates - and the harder i try, the further they seem to slip away.
There's so much fear - fear that things will never be the same again, fear that i'll never see them again, fear that life without them will feel so much inferior, fear that we'll eventually forget the wonderful time we shared.
But what can i do?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's life. We move on. Cest la vie.
Wait, there is one thing - i can leave it to the Lord.
Yet, that is so much easier said than done. I dun know why. Perhaps i'm paralysed by fear...
Life's not a song
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
(Joss Whedon)
Life isn't bliss
Life is just this
It's living
You'll get along
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living
You have to go on living
(Joss Whedon)
Monday, August 21, 2006
Fat boy - Jewel
Pic #1 - Anglerfish before a meal
Pic #2 - Anglerfish after a meal!
Pics taken at Natural History Museum
Pic #2 - Anglerfish after a meal!
Pics taken at Natural History Museum
For the past couple of weeks, i've been having trouble eating and sleeping! Dun know why. Ok, maybe i do...
But there i was, wif a loss of appetite and insomnia! Not that it bothered me - din feel hungry, din feel sleepy!
Suddenly, over the weekend, me appetite came back - wif a vengeance!!!! It din help that on Friday nite, i took home 6 portions of lasagne*!!!!!!
Maybe it (the return of appetite) had to do wif the slave-labour work we did on Saturday. But i've been eating like... an anglerfish!!!!!!
Yup, the pic #1 above can represent me last week - and if i'm not careful, the pic #2 will prolly be me next week!!!!
I feel hungry now...
Now if only i can get some sleep!
* i wasn't greedy! I packed for Teddy and Eric who were downstairs but they din wan any. So instead of wasting it, i've had a lasagne weekend!!!! Even used one protion to barter for some roast chicken wif me flatmate! Yes, i know lasagne is fattening - hence the title for this post! *Duh*
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Till we run out of road - Jewel
Today was the last day for me. I felt overcome wif emotion when i clocked out for the last time - alone. We've reached the end of the road.
It was most memorable - for other reasons too! We had a wonderful time - but it was oso the hardest we have ever worked! It was the annual summer cleaning - how we know it's annual? Well, looking at the condition of things, trust us - it has been at least a year since it was cleaned!!!!! Yeah, the sides of the tray trolleys, the floor under the dish washer, the inside bottom of the bins....
But we had great fun - it was Teddy, Praful and me. Close to 8 hours of cleaning, scrubbing, washing! It was fun! We talked about the good times, our mates whom we'll miss, the customers we served, the managers, the funny incidents etc. All the time, we were listening oso to SGR Colchester, the local radio station which plays the "best songs of the 80s, 90s and today"! The same old songs that they've been playing day in and day out! To be honest, i find it painful to listen to it when not working cuz it brings back so many memories - Pink's Who knew, Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, Bryan Adam's Summer of '69, etc.
Oh, i also learned the rules of cricket!!!!!! Finally!
I was glad i wasn't the only one feeling sentimental bout the whole thing. We were oredi missing the others who had finished earlier in the week. Working there has surely been one of the highlights of our Essex experience - go here to see the list of reasons why.
Teddy agreed wif me that we shud have a get-together after we all hand up our dissertations and before we leave Colchester. I'm all for it but a lil' skeptical about if it'll ever work out. I hope it will. I really hope so.
The end indeed is nigh - but for now, we'll live it up... until we run out of road.
It was most memorable - for other reasons too! We had a wonderful time - but it was oso the hardest we have ever worked! It was the annual summer cleaning - how we know it's annual? Well, looking at the condition of things, trust us - it has been at least a year since it was cleaned!!!!! Yeah, the sides of the tray trolleys, the floor under the dish washer, the inside bottom of the bins....
But we had great fun - it was Teddy, Praful and me. Close to 8 hours of cleaning, scrubbing, washing! It was fun! We talked about the good times, our mates whom we'll miss, the customers we served, the managers, the funny incidents etc. All the time, we were listening oso to SGR Colchester, the local radio station which plays the "best songs of the 80s, 90s and today"! The same old songs that they've been playing day in and day out! To be honest, i find it painful to listen to it when not working cuz it brings back so many memories - Pink's Who knew, Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, Bryan Adam's Summer of '69, etc.
Oh, i also learned the rules of cricket!!!!!! Finally!
I was glad i wasn't the only one feeling sentimental bout the whole thing. We were oredi missing the others who had finished earlier in the week. Working there has surely been one of the highlights of our Essex experience - go here to see the list of reasons why.
Teddy agreed wif me that we shud have a get-together after we all hand up our dissertations and before we leave Colchester. I'm all for it but a lil' skeptical about if it'll ever work out. I hope it will. I really hope so.
The end indeed is nigh - but for now, we'll live it up... until we run out of road.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
This way - Jewel
There has been a number of people asking me when - if ever - i'll be going back.
Well, the short answer is - I dun know!
Do pray with me. I have no intention of going back yet. Prolly the earliest will be for CNY next year. But you know how things are - esp wif me. It never goes as planned!
I may even stay on in Colchester if i get a job at the Human Rights Centre - the job is just wat i wanna do but staying on here without me mates? *shudder* Dilemma!
Even if i move to London, there's the question of where i'll be staying.
Many options, many choices, many decisions... one way!
Well, the short answer is - I dun know!
Do pray with me. I have no intention of going back yet. Prolly the earliest will be for CNY next year. But you know how things are - esp wif me. It never goes as planned!
I may even stay on in Colchester if i get a job at the Human Rights Centre - the job is just wat i wanna do but staying on here without me mates? *shudder* Dilemma!
Even if i move to London, there's the question of where i'll be staying.
Many options, many choices, many decisions... one way!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Little sister - Jewel
Whoever came up with the saying "Out of sight, out of mind" has surely not met you!
Miss ya...
Miss ya...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Doing fine - Jewel
Work was alrite today. Difficult, at times, but at least not 4 hours of dishwashing like the other day!
Difficult cuz everywhere inch of that place has so much memories in them. I was alone again - Martyn was around but he was downstairs all the time. The permanent staff were nice but it just wasn't the same.
I got a pleasant suprise when i got back - for some reason, people began flocking into the kitchen today. It was almost like old times and we just hung out for the longest time. Simple pleasures are simply overated.
Oh, i found another one of 李心洁's music video - a "happier" song! She sings of the endless summer days. :-)
沒完沒了
And i finally got hold of Aliz's Paris pics! Memories! :-)
Difficult cuz everywhere inch of that place has so much memories in them. I was alone again - Martyn was around but he was downstairs all the time. The permanent staff were nice but it just wasn't the same.
I got a pleasant suprise when i got back - for some reason, people began flocking into the kitchen today. It was almost like old times and we just hung out for the longest time. Simple pleasures are simply overated.
Oh, i found another one of 李心洁's music video - a "happier" song! She sings of the endless summer days. :-)
沒完沒了
And i finally got hold of Aliz's Paris pics! Memories! :-)
These 2 pics were taken simultaneously!
(Right pic taken by Aliz)
(Right pic taken by Aliz)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Sometimes it be that way - Jewel
As most of u would know by now, i've been getting pretty sentimental about saying goodbye to this place and to me mates here. The other day at work, i was the only casual temp staff working and the absence of the rest of me mates was painfully obvious to me.
Today, i dropped by Food-on-3 cuz it was 2 of me mates' last day. *Sigh* It could be the last time i'll ever see them - altho i'll definitely (i got it, KC!) make an effort to catch them before we vacate here! Or go look for them one day!
It just seems such a waste that we were all here for the whole year but only got to know each other in these last month.
Another mate sent me this text message the other day when i was feeling down:-
"But dont u be sad la. At least u enjoyed a brief explosion of friendship rather than it trickle n die a slow death. Like fireworks, u love it while it lasts, wish it could be longer, then wait 4 the next occasion."
Yeah, it has been a brilliant fireworks show. I loved every minute of it and wish it could go on. But I'll wait patiently for the next occasion.
I guess i shud be happy that i had the chance to get to know them in the first place and be thankful for the wonderful times, instead of feeling sad over what could have never been. Sometimes, life is that way.
It's just so strange - i've always considered meself as a loner. Lone Ranger, Han Solo! I treasured my space and guarded it jealously, i loved being on me own. But these days, being alone in my room can be painful at times...
Today, i dropped by Food-on-3 cuz it was 2 of me mates' last day. *Sigh* It could be the last time i'll ever see them - altho i'll definitely (i got it, KC!) make an effort to catch them before we vacate here! Or go look for them one day!
It just seems such a waste that we were all here for the whole year but only got to know each other in these last month.Another mate sent me this text message the other day when i was feeling down:-
"But dont u be sad la. At least u enjoyed a brief explosion of friendship rather than it trickle n die a slow death. Like fireworks, u love it while it lasts, wish it could be longer, then wait 4 the next occasion."
Yeah, it has been a brilliant fireworks show. I loved every minute of it and wish it could go on. But I'll wait patiently for the next occasion.
I guess i shud be happy that i had the chance to get to know them in the first place and be thankful for the wonderful times, instead of feeling sad over what could have never been. Sometimes, life is that way.
It's just so strange - i've always considered meself as a loner. Lone Ranger, Han Solo! I treasured my space and guarded it jealously, i loved being on me own. But these days, being alone in my room can be painful at times...
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Again and again - Jewel
I've been singing this song over and over again lately - methinks me flatmates must be pretty mad wif the racket i'm making!
But hey, this is the first mandarin song that i've learnt how to sing - thanks to me mate back home who e-mailed me not only the pinyin but the loose translation - albeit, almost 2 years late!!!!!!
This song oso happens to be the first 李心洁's song that i've heard - so i guess it's only right that it's the first that i can sing!
Here's the video - of her singing it, not me! ;-P
爱错
But hey, this is the first mandarin song that i've learnt how to sing - thanks to me mate back home who e-mailed me not only the pinyin but the loose translation - albeit, almost 2 years late!!!!!!
This song oso happens to be the first 李心洁's song that i've heard - so i guess it's only right that it's the first that i can sing!
Here's the video - of her singing it, not me! ;-P
爱错
What's simple is true - Jewel
人的心情不像房子，花钱就能把它装修的漂漂亮亮！
That's stated at the top of one of me mate's blog. Basically, it means that people's feelings/mood is not like a house which you can make beautiful with money.
I thought that it's really cool. Simple and true. So true!
I got an e-mail from an ex-colleague today. He used to work under me. I had to laugh out loud when i read what he had to say about me:-
"Wow. You seem to be in jovial mood! At least in better mood than when you were here at THC & Co. hehe."
Oh, come on - i wasn't that mean, was i???? :-(
Maybe I was. That was like a different life-time ago. Things were so different. I was the high-flying lawyer (or so i would like to think!) making loads of money - and spending it even faster! ;-P
Yet, now, with no status and no income, i feel that the quality of me life has improved in leaps and bounds!
And while i'm getting sentimental lately - missing me mates, and anticipating missing them!!! - my mood has been really good!
Truly, money can never make u feel good. For me, it's frens, family, and of course God.
Oh, and good food, too! ;-P
That's stated at the top of one of me mate's blog. Basically, it means that people's feelings/mood is not like a house which you can make beautiful with money.
I thought that it's really cool. Simple and true. So true!
I got an e-mail from an ex-colleague today. He used to work under me. I had to laugh out loud when i read what he had to say about me:-
"Wow. You seem to be in jovial mood! At least in better mood than when you were here at THC & Co. hehe."
Oh, come on - i wasn't that mean, was i???? :-(
Maybe I was. That was like a different life-time ago. Things were so different. I was the high-flying lawyer (or so i would like to think!) making loads of money - and spending it even faster! ;-P
Yet, now, with no status and no income, i feel that the quality of me life has improved in leaps and bounds!
And while i'm getting sentimental lately - missing me mates, and anticipating missing them!!! - my mood has been really good!
Truly, money can never make u feel good. For me, it's frens, family, and of course God.
Oh, and good food, too! ;-P
Monday, August 14, 2006
Angel standing by - Jewel
No, contrary to popular belief, i dun just listen to Jewel - altho these last couple of posts seem to indicate that.
I listen also to 李心洁! Some of you would know her as Angelica Lee.
In fact, thanks to a mate back home, i can now sing my very first mandarin song... almost! ;-P
She's really talented! And her eyes... *sigh*
The latest news is that she won the award for the most popular actress at the 11th Hong Kong Golden Bauhinia Awards!!!! Woohoo!
I really wanna watch her latest movie. Been so deprived of Chinese movies - esp Cantonese shows.
Oh well...
Check out one of her music videos here. This is a really nice song. Now if only someone can tell me what the lyrics are saying exactly...
Thundershower
Congrats, 心洁!
I listen also to 李心洁! Some of you would know her as Angelica Lee.
In fact, thanks to a mate back home, i can now sing my very first mandarin song... almost! ;-P
She's really talented! And her eyes... *sigh*
The latest news is that she won the award for the most popular actress at the 11th Hong Kong Golden Bauhinia Awards!!!! Woohoo!
I really wanna watch her latest movie. Been so deprived of Chinese movies - esp Cantonese shows.
Oh well...
Check out one of her music videos here. This is a really nice song. Now if only someone can tell me what the lyrics are saying exactly...
Thundershower
Congrats, 心洁!
Ticket to ride - The Beatles
There's this feeling of deja vu as i sit here, listening to Jewel, the cloudy skies outside reflecting the emotions in me room.
Am i to go thru this every nite?
The euphoria of L'pool beating Chelsea is gone. The joy of meeting me church mates is left behind yesterday. The sun has gone to sleep. The laksa has all been digested. Yeah, this is the "down" part of the ride.
Join me for a ride? I've got a life-time unlimited ride ticket!
Sometimes i wish that me life is not the roller-coaster ride it has always been. Some of me close mates tell me that the things that happen in me life are stuffs you only see on movies - a case of art imitating life? Or truth trying to be fiction?
Hope - is a wonderful thing. But it can feel cruel at times. It'd be so much easier if hope is all gone and we accept fate as it is. But "...it would take a miracle for me to give up my hope and get on with my life."
Having said that, i know that if me life is anything but a roller-coaster - even if it slows down to be a carousel ride, i would find it too boring!
Boring! *yawn*
Happiness is heightened when one has experienced tears.
Relief is greater after being paralysed with fear.
Reunions are sweeter after going thru the pain of missing someone.
An unexpected break makes a wonderful surprise after all hope is gone.
Am i to go thru this every nite?
The euphoria of L'pool beating Chelsea is gone. The joy of meeting me church mates is left behind yesterday. The sun has gone to sleep. The laksa has all been digested. Yeah, this is the "down" part of the ride.
Join me for a ride? I've got a life-time unlimited ride ticket!
Sometimes i wish that me life is not the roller-coaster ride it has always been. Some of me close mates tell me that the things that happen in me life are stuffs you only see on movies - a case of art imitating life? Or truth trying to be fiction?
Hope - is a wonderful thing. But it can feel cruel at times. It'd be so much easier if hope is all gone and we accept fate as it is. But "...it would take a miracle for me to give up my hope and get on with my life."
Having said that, i know that if me life is anything but a roller-coaster - even if it slows down to be a carousel ride, i would find it too boring!
Boring! *yawn*
Relief is greater after being paralysed with fear.
Reunions are sweeter after going thru the pain of missing someone.
An unexpected break makes a wonderful surprise after all hope is gone.
I've been down so long, it can't be longer still
I've been down so long, that the end must be drawing near
Jewel Kilcher
I am wanting you
And I am needing you here
I need you near
Inside the absence of fear
Jewel Kilcher
I've been down so long, that the end must be drawing near
Jewel Kilcher
I am wanting you
And I am needing you here
I need you near
Inside the absence of fear
Jewel Kilcher
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Life is a roller-coaster - Ronan Keating
It's funny how things can just change so quickly. I guess it's all part of the roller-coaster ride of me life which i shud - but still haven't - get used to! :-)
Went to sleep feeling really moody and down. Was planning to attend the evening service today - but when i got up, i noticed the sun was up. And i felt strangely good!
In less than 5 mins, i was changed, washed and rushed down - met some of me church mates at the car park and challenged Michael (not flat-mate Michael) to see who reaches first, him in his car or me on foot! He won, but not by much! ;-)
After service, we started footie talk again! :-) Michael predicted a Liverpool win of 2-1! Yes, he was spot on. I'm impressed!!!!!
Walked back wif another mate - it was sunny, rainy, cloudy... typical British weather!
It was the perfect weather for some some curry laksa! So i tried it out - quite successfully, i must modestly add! ;-P Lack of ingredients - see hum, tau-foo pok, etc., but the taste was quite right!!!
Thereafter, it was to the SU Bar for the Community Shield! Haven't seen the bar so empty for a footie match!!!!
It was a good game - for us Reds' fans. The starting line-up surprised everyone - no Gerrard, no Alonso, no Bellamy, no Hyppia. But IMHO, the first half team performed really well! Pennant looked really good. Risse's goal was dream-like - taking the ball from deep in your own half all the way to the other end and unleashing a shot into the corner of the net! The defense held their line well - save for one occasion where they were punished by the clinical Shevchenko.
Bellamy impressed when he came on in the 2nd half and it was his brilliant cross which Crouchie put away to win up the Shield!
The future looks bright for Liverpool! Benitez has been shrewd in his buyings. Mourinho? It's obvious that he's leaving Chelsea after this season cuz his buyings dun reflect any looking forward - not to me anyways.
The man who made the biggest difference today? The guy who's career almost ended last season with an eye injury. Reds' fans are thankful he has recovered in a most impressive manner - Momo Sissoko!
Pic obtained from BBC News Online
Went to sleep feeling really moody and down. Was planning to attend the evening service today - but when i got up, i noticed the sun was up. And i felt strangely good!
In less than 5 mins, i was changed, washed and rushed down - met some of me church mates at the car park and challenged Michael (not flat-mate Michael) to see who reaches first, him in his car or me on foot! He won, but not by much! ;-)
After service, we started footie talk again! :-) Michael predicted a Liverpool win of 2-1! Yes, he was spot on. I'm impressed!!!!!
Walked back wif another mate - it was sunny, rainy, cloudy... typical British weather!
It was the perfect weather for some some curry laksa! So i tried it out - quite successfully, i must modestly add! ;-P Lack of ingredients - see hum, tau-foo pok, etc., but the taste was quite right!!!
Thereafter, it was to the SU Bar for the Community Shield! Haven't seen the bar so empty for a footie match!!!!
It was a good game - for us Reds' fans. The starting line-up surprised everyone - no Gerrard, no Alonso, no Bellamy, no Hyppia. But IMHO, the first half team performed really well! Pennant looked really good. Risse's goal was dream-like - taking the ball from deep in your own half all the way to the other end and unleashing a shot into the corner of the net! The defense held their line well - save for one occasion where they were punished by the clinical Shevchenko.
Bellamy impressed when he came on in the 2nd half and it was his brilliant cross which Crouchie put away to win up the Shield!
The future looks bright for Liverpool! Benitez has been shrewd in his buyings. Mourinho? It's obvious that he's leaving Chelsea after this season cuz his buyings dun reflect any looking forward - not to me anyways.
The man who made the biggest difference today? The guy who's career almost ended last season with an eye injury. Reds' fans are thankful he has recovered in a most impressive manner - Momo Sissoko!
Pic obtained from BBC News Online
Now to bed! :-)
What can I do? - The Corrs
Warning: When feeling moody, listening to Jewel's songs may not help!!!!
The sun shines golden, and I feel like my car
A little run down, a little beat up, maybe just a little green
Maybe it's my battery, maybe it's my starter,
Maybe my heart's too weak
There's just this feeling, thought I had to get going
Got too scary, got too big, got to get out of here
But now i don't know how to get home.
These fields stretch out like patchwork, on my granny's quilt
She used to tell me that
"Life is a series of strange and mysterious things
One minute you think you're up, the next you find you're down"
Your mind says "girl (boy), you gotta stick around"
But your heart says "I'm too weak in the knees"
Oh God, what do I do?
Jewel Kilcher - 1,000 Miles Away
A little run down, a little beat up, maybe just a little green
Maybe it's my battery, maybe it's my starter,
Maybe my heart's too weak
There's just this feeling, thought I had to get going
Got too scary, got too big, got to get out of here
But now i don't know how to get home.
These fields stretch out like patchwork, on my granny's quilt
She used to tell me that
"Life is a series of strange and mysterious things
One minute you think you're up, the next you find you're down"
Your mind says "girl (boy), you gotta stick around"
But your heart says "I'm too weak in the knees"
Oh God, what do I do?
Jewel Kilcher - 1,000 Miles Away
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Mood Swing - Debbie Gibson
It rained almost the whole day, today.When the skies did not pour, it was grey.
It was strange to wake up from me nap to find the room in darkness.
The sun never graced us wif her presence - not directly, anyways.
The stars - the lovely stars which keep me company on long nights - are nowhere to be seen tonite.
The distant thunder growls softly now as the cloudy skies gives out a strange orangie colour.
I was listening to Jewel's Goodbye Alice in Wonderland* - and it made me feel worse... as if that was possible.
I tried playing the guitar - why is it that i only know moody songs???
It's times like these when i get down...
I like this following song - the video is quite cool but the lyrics are brilliant. The video maker tried to give a translation - not that accurate but you get the idea. Can't remember if i posted this up before - but if i did, it merits a second time!
Kau Ilham Ku (You're my inspiration)
This song is to those whom i miss now. The irony is that the person i am missing the most prolly doesn't have any idea of how i am feeling now...
*which is prolly gonna be the title of me final post here in this blog next month, when i say farewell to this wonderful place - wonderful cuz of the people and memories.
Do you sleep? - Lisa loeb
Aaarrggghhh... it's so frustrating! I can't sleep! And the weather is absolutely brilliant to sleep in!
Slept at bout 4 am this morning - and was oredi up before 9!!!! The thing is, i'm still tired. And i still wanna sleep. But can't! It's not like i'm awake and fresh - if i was, then i could start doing some work for me dissertation!
It's like i'm suffering from jet-lag! In a way, i guess i am. This is the first Saturday in weeks that i could sleep in. Usually, we start work at 7 am on weekends - the earliest - and i'll be up by 6-ish.
Oh well... can't sleep - so blog! :-) and watch some Buffy, i guess...
Will prolly sleep later in the day... after eating, of course! Am becoming a real pig! *oink* Was complaining to me flatmate last nite - at first it was too hot to do any work. Now it's too cold that all i wanna do is just slip under the duvet and sleep. Me astute flatmate replied "You just don't wanna do your dissertation".
He's prolly right! LOL!
p/s - no, the skin-cut guy in the pic above is not me. still having long flowing hair! ;-P Pic taken years ago in Temerloh. Wanted to get a hair-cut but it's now cold and the long hair feels nice!
Slept at bout 4 am this morning - and was oredi up before 9!!!! The thing is, i'm still tired. And i still wanna sleep. But can't! It's not like i'm awake and fresh - if i was, then i could start doing some work for me dissertation!It's like i'm suffering from jet-lag! In a way, i guess i am. This is the first Saturday in weeks that i could sleep in. Usually, we start work at 7 am on weekends - the earliest - and i'll be up by 6-ish.
Oh well... can't sleep - so blog! :-) and watch some Buffy, i guess...
Will prolly sleep later in the day... after eating, of course! Am becoming a real pig! *oink* Was complaining to me flatmate last nite - at first it was too hot to do any work. Now it's too cold that all i wanna do is just slip under the duvet and sleep. Me astute flatmate replied "You just don't wanna do your dissertation".
He's prolly right! LOL!
p/s - no, the skin-cut guy in the pic above is not me. still having long flowing hair! ;-P Pic taken years ago in Temerloh. Wanted to get a hair-cut but it's now cold and the long hair feels nice!
Friday, August 11, 2006
Goodbye - Spice Girls
MSN chat the other day...
Mate: sorry...i meant it's natural mar to get close, get distant, get close, get distant...tis the way of the world
Me: i guess. but am getting quite down over it lately. very.
Me: wif frens leaving and all
Me: some of the people i got to know over the summer are really wonderful
Mate: aiks, but u shoulda gone through it before in uni?
Me: yarla. but that was like so long ago! ;)
Me: kinda regret not getting to know them earlier this year
Me: prolly like walked past them countless of times
Mate: that's true...but then the first day you feel sad, the next day you feel sad, after 5-7 days u don't feel sad, after 2 weeks the memory kinda fades in your mind..
Me: noooo....
Me: that's wat is so sad.
Me: sigh
Me: getting too sentimental
Mate: but that's our coping mechanism! imagine if we never forget the people who mean a lot to us!
Mate: we would be DEPRESSED like constantly
Me: that explains my depression...
Mate: hehehe you're just melodramatic :)
Me: i am
Me: as usual
Me: do i have to cope?
Mate: yes you doooo in order to move on....
Mate: sucks eh
Me: move on... hate that!
Today is the last day that i'll see some of me mates at the work place. Come next week, we have only very limited hours.
Men in black - Teddy and me at closing time today*
I look so fair! Need to get more sun...
I hate goodbyes. :-(
Perhaps it's only apt that just as i got back, it started to rain.
I lost me appetite - not hungry, despite having only 2 slices of bread today. Michelle offerred me some chocolate peanut butter cookie she made - the choc helped! But now it's gone and i'm down again...
p/s - on a happier note, McClaren announced the new look England team today. Looks pretty good! I may be wrong bout that guy. Most important for me was that he dropped Beckham!!! Now that's one goodbye i was glad of!
Mate: sorry...i meant it's natural mar to get close, get distant, get close, get distant...tis the way of the world
Me: i guess. but am getting quite down over it lately. very.
Me: wif frens leaving and all
Me: some of the people i got to know over the summer are really wonderful
Mate: aiks, but u shoulda gone through it before in uni?
Me: yarla. but that was like so long ago! ;)
Me: kinda regret not getting to know them earlier this year
Me: prolly like walked past them countless of times
Mate: that's true...but then the first day you feel sad, the next day you feel sad, after 5-7 days u don't feel sad, after 2 weeks the memory kinda fades in your mind..
Me: noooo....
Me: that's wat is so sad.
Me: sigh
Me: getting too sentimental
Mate: but that's our coping mechanism! imagine if we never forget the people who mean a lot to us!
Mate: we would be DEPRESSED like constantly
Me: that explains my depression...
Mate: hehehe you're just melodramatic :)
Me: i am
Me: as usual
Me: do i have to cope?
Mate: yes you doooo in order to move on....
Mate: sucks eh
Me: move on... hate that!
Today is the last day that i'll see some of me mates at the work place. Come next week, we have only very limited hours.
Men in black - Teddy and me at closing time today*
I look so fair! Need to get more sun...
I hate goodbyes. :-(
Perhaps it's only apt that just as i got back, it started to rain.
I lost me appetite - not hungry, despite having only 2 slices of bread today. Michelle offerred me some chocolate peanut butter cookie she made - the choc helped! But now it's gone and i'm down again...
p/s - on a happier note, McClaren announced the new look England team today. Looks pretty good! I may be wrong bout that guy. Most important for me was that he dropped Beckham!!! Now that's one goodbye i was glad of!
*Pic taken using a Canon IXUS 30. Cheers, Kathy, for the pic! and the other one with the Taiwanese girls! :-)
Thursday, August 10, 2006
You are everything - The Sylistics
Came across this interesting clip recently. i missed it back then cuz i wasn't a big fan of M'sian Idol.
I really, really, really like this song! It's in the Malay language and translated, it means "You are everything". It's originally sung by the brilliant Ruth Sahayana.
Malaysian Idol 1 - Lee Kar Wei
Here are the lyrics:-
I was gonna do a translation here until i came to "Kaulah curahan hati ini". How do i translate that? Help, people back home!
OK. i figured out the translation, thanks to a visit to the Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka website! Cool-eh? Here is the full translation (not a direct translation, more of a paraphrased one):-
I really, really, really like this song! It's in the Malay language and translated, it means "You are everything". It's originally sung by the brilliant Ruth Sahayana.
Malaysian Idol 1 - Lee Kar Wei
Here are the lyrics:-
Mungkin hanya Tuhan
Yang tahu segalanya
Apa yang ku inginkan
Di saat-saat ini
Kau tak 'kan percaya
Kau selalu di hati
Haruskah ku menangis
Untuk mengatakan yang sesungguhnya
Kaulah segalanya untuk ku
Kaulah curahan hati ini
Tak mungkin ku melupakan mu
Tiada lagi yang ku harap
Hanya kau seorang
Yang tahu segalanya
Apa yang ku inginkan
Di saat-saat ini
Kau tak 'kan percaya
Kau selalu di hati
Haruskah ku menangis
Untuk mengatakan yang sesungguhnya
Kaulah segalanya untuk ku
Kaulah curahan hati ini
Tak mungkin ku melupakan mu
Tiada lagi yang ku harap
Hanya kau seorang
I was gonna do a translation here until i came to "Kaulah curahan hati ini". How do i translate that? Help, people back home!
ADDENDUM (12/8/06, 12:27 pm)
OK. i figured out the translation, thanks to a visit to the Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka website! Cool-eh? Here is the full translation (not a direct translation, more of a paraphrased one):-
Maybe only God knows everything - what I want at this very moment
You may not believe it, but you are always in my heart
Do I have to cry to show that I really mean it when I say
You are everything for me
My heart goes out only to you
It will not be possible to forget you
There is none I hope in, none but you.
You may not believe it, but you are always in my heart
Do I have to cry to show that I really mean it when I say
You are everything for me
My heart goes out only to you
It will not be possible to forget you
There is none I hope in, none but you.
Get the party started - Pink
Finally, i have started on me dissertation. It ain't much but after sitting in the computer section of the reading room for almost 2 hours, i have completed the introduction - which was slightly above 1,000 words. Now i have only 19,000 more to go...
It wasn't very good but it's a start! A draft - the first of many to come. I'm just thankful i managed to overcome the "inertia" and stopped procrastinating.
I've also started to stay up late again. I can't help it. I guess i do me work best at nite - or when it is dark. Less distraction and noise. Further, i dun have to worry the heat of the day - altho the weather has been brilliant, lately. Yup, i'm nocturnal again!
Let's hope i can keep this up.
Work is supposed to end by this week. When they asked us if we dun want to work anymore after this week, we kept quiet. All of us Masters' students know that we shud start doing our dissertation - which has been neglected due to work. But at the same time, we want the money!
Teddy agreed wif me when i said that dun mind getting extra hours next week so that i can earn some more cash - but i'm not gonna be disappointed if i dun get any.
As it is, the rota came out last evening and we do have hours next week!
With other distractions present, the road leading to the end of the dissertation looks long, lonely and windy.
It din help when my supervisor finally got back to me on me outline and bibliography and he was generally pleased wif me progress!!!! I was hoping that he'd scold me and push me.
At least i have hard working flatmates!
Oh well... the journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.
I've taken mine, thank God.
It wasn't very good but it's a start! A draft - the first of many to come. I'm just thankful i managed to overcome the "inertia" and stopped procrastinating.
I've also started to stay up late again. I can't help it. I guess i do me work best at nite - or when it is dark. Less distraction and noise. Further, i dun have to worry the heat of the day - altho the weather has been brilliant, lately. Yup, i'm nocturnal again!
Let's hope i can keep this up.
Work is supposed to end by this week. When they asked us if we dun want to work anymore after this week, we kept quiet. All of us Masters' students know that we shud start doing our dissertation - which has been neglected due to work. But at the same time, we want the money!
Teddy agreed wif me when i said that dun mind getting extra hours next week so that i can earn some more cash - but i'm not gonna be disappointed if i dun get any.
As it is, the rota came out last evening and we do have hours next week!
With other distractions present, the road leading to the end of the dissertation looks long, lonely and windy.It din help when my supervisor finally got back to me on me outline and bibliography and he was generally pleased wif me progress!!!! I was hoping that he'd scold me and push me.
At least i have hard working flatmates!
Oh well... the journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.
I've taken mine, thank God.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Have you ever? - Brandy
Have you ever wanted something that you know it's not possible to have?
Have you ever longed for something even tho you oredi have one like that?
Have you ever wished for the impossible to happen?
Have you ever seek out something that you know won't last?
Have you ever felt like you needed something so much for no reason?
Have you ever felt unsatisfied over what you have instead of being thankful for it?
Have you ever wished your heart never ache so much for something?
Caught by the camera...
Have you ever longed for something even tho you oredi have one like that?
Have you ever wished for the impossible to happen?
Have you ever seek out something that you know won't last?
Have you ever felt like you needed something so much for no reason?
Have you ever felt unsatisfied over what you have instead of being thankful for it?
Have you ever wished your heart never ache so much for something?
Caught by the camera...
When will I see you again? - 3 Degrees
Just got back from London. Totally exhausted - but absolutely happy! :-)
The weather today... well, yesterday, was excellent! It was cold but the sun was out! I managed to buy what i wanted to (more about this in another post). The siew yoke ngap farn at Wong Kei was to die for!
But what really made my day was being able to catch up wif some of me mates whom i havent seen for a while. 2 was planned, one was spontaneous and the last one was accidental!
I met up wif an ex-colleague for dinner. It was nice to chat and catch up over kebab - and i had a chance to speak in cantonese - man, i'm really out of practise!!!!
Later, i met up wif Tom, one of me ex-flatmates who is now "interning" in London. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning of time, u'd know that Tom was my "dinner-kaki" - in the past, we'd met up almost every nite close to midnite, cook and eat our dinner.
We had a beer just now and then he took me around to show me the area where he worked. It was really nice to see him again. We made plans for him to come over to Essex for a visit during the Bank Holiday weekend end of this month. That will surely be fun!
Earlier, as i was walking around in London, i decided to call up a mate in Malaysia. She could be coming over here to work. We had a nice chat as i walked from Oxford Street to Leicester Square. Really, really hope she will come over!
Finally, as i walked home just now, i bumped into a fellow M'sian who was on her way home after work at campus. It was getting pretty cold, actually, and i was in me shorts and sandals. But we stood by the sideway and chatted. Even the light drizzle did not deter us! We even made plans to climb up Mount Kinabalu - if we ever end up in Malaysia at the same time in the near future!!!!! We had to end our conversation as it was oredi "morning"! It was then that i realised how cold i was!!!!
It was really really nice, the time spent wif the 4 of them. The past was reminisced, the present was talked about, the future was shared. Serious issues like life-changing plans were brought up - as were some not-so-important stuffs like how me mate knows the new Miss Malaysia personally!!!! IMHO, the depths of frenships can be measured in 2 ways by the things that are talked about - either by how personal, important and serious the subject is, or how trivial and even frivolous it is! I'm sure most would agree with the former. The latter? It's only wif really good mates that you feel unihibited to talk about anything and everything.
Somehow, blogging bout it now sounds pretty uninteresting - nothing exciting or mind-blowing. Yet, i know i'll have that nice satisfied warm feeling as i wrap meself under me duvet later and sleep. Yeah, i treasure me mates very much!
The weather today... well, yesterday, was excellent! It was cold but the sun was out! I managed to buy what i wanted to (more about this in another post). The siew yoke ngap farn at Wong Kei was to die for!
But what really made my day was being able to catch up wif some of me mates whom i havent seen for a while. 2 was planned, one was spontaneous and the last one was accidental!
I met up wif an ex-colleague for dinner. It was nice to chat and catch up over kebab - and i had a chance to speak in cantonese - man, i'm really out of practise!!!!
Later, i met up wif Tom, one of me ex-flatmates who is now "interning" in London. If you have been reading my blog since the beginning of time, u'd know that Tom was my "dinner-kaki" - in the past, we'd met up almost every nite close to midnite, cook and eat our dinner.
We had a beer just now and then he took me around to show me the area where he worked. It was really nice to see him again. We made plans for him to come over to Essex for a visit during the Bank Holiday weekend end of this month. That will surely be fun!
Earlier, as i was walking around in London, i decided to call up a mate in Malaysia. She could be coming over here to work. We had a nice chat as i walked from Oxford Street to Leicester Square. Really, really hope she will come over!
Finally, as i walked home just now, i bumped into a fellow M'sian who was on her way home after work at campus. It was getting pretty cold, actually, and i was in me shorts and sandals. But we stood by the sideway and chatted. Even the light drizzle did not deter us! We even made plans to climb up Mount Kinabalu - if we ever end up in Malaysia at the same time in the near future!!!!! We had to end our conversation as it was oredi "morning"! It was then that i realised how cold i was!!!!
It was really really nice, the time spent wif the 4 of them. The past was reminisced, the present was talked about, the future was shared. Serious issues like life-changing plans were brought up - as were some not-so-important stuffs like how me mate knows the new Miss Malaysia personally!!!! IMHO, the depths of frenships can be measured in 2 ways by the things that are talked about - either by how personal, important and serious the subject is, or how trivial and even frivolous it is! I'm sure most would agree with the former. The latter? It's only wif really good mates that you feel unihibited to talk about anything and everything.
Somehow, blogging bout it now sounds pretty uninteresting - nothing exciting or mind-blowing. Yet, i know i'll have that nice satisfied warm feeling as i wrap meself under me duvet later and sleep. Yeah, i treasure me mates very much!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Don't know why - Norah Jones
On such love, my soul still ponder,
Love so great, so rich and free:
Say while lost in holy wonder,
"Why, O Lord, such love to me?"
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Grace shall reign eternally.
John Kent
Love so great, so rich and free:
Say while lost in holy wonder,
"Why, O Lord, such love to me?"
Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Grace shall reign eternally.
John Kent
Pic taken at Taiping Lake Gardens
Monday, August 07, 2006
How am I supposed to live without you - Michael Bolton
*Due to threats made against the blogger, the scheduled post regarding the movie "The Lakehouse" has been indefinately postponed ;-P*
It was with some nostalgia and interest when i read that yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the internet! Yup, it was on the 6th August 1991 that "...links to the fledgling computer code for the www were put on the alt.hypertext discussion group so others could download it and play with it" (read it here).
The internet is only a teenager! So young!
But yet, can you imagine the world today without internet? I don't know about you but the internet is so intertwined into my life now that the thought of not having it raises fear in me! I dread the day when i have to move out of Uni campus and say goodbye to the wonderfully fast and reliable 24/7 internet connection we have in our rooms.
I remember the first time using it - it was way back in 1993 when i used it to send e-mails to me mate in Nottingham. Then, i was in Barking, at UEL. As the people back home do not have the technology yet (my family, not my country), i only used it with me mates in the UK Unis who have access to it.
Today, the first thing i do when i get up is to turn on me laptop, check mail, read news and me mates' blogs. The last thing i do before i read my bible, pray and sleep is to turn off me laptop.
The most important contribution to me life is the way how it has helped me - and is still helping me - keep close to me family and me mates. In fct, i felt like i've drawn closer to some of me mates back home since i left there and come over here!!!! With e-mails, blogs, instant messaging, on-line chats and games, the avenues are endless.
Just last nite, i stayed up late reading a mates' blog and viewing her pics - it was like travelling with her.
I've made frens with strangers - and some of them are my closest confidants, even tho we have never physically met!
The 2nd biggest contribution - and mind you, a very close 2nd - is the wealth of info i can acess with just typing on the keyboards! Just today, i was reading online about the Qinghan-Tibet railway, the highest railway in the world - which i hope to take in my ambitious trip of going back home over land in the near future! I get so much details about it, view pics of the interior of the train, see the scenery and even find out the price of the tickets - all in the comfort of me room.
That's just a small example. My ever-curious mind has most of the time been satiated with the info i can find on-line. Gone are the days when i have to go to the library or bookshop and dig up the info.
I know that it is not good but i really wonder how i can live without internet.
I try to comfort meself by reminding me that there had been times when i did go without internet for many a day - like when i went for me back-packing trip into the interiors of Sarawak, or when the modem got fried, or when me PC had to be sent to the shop. I just hope that this means that i can live without it - life may be a little bit more difficult but i have survived without it for so many years before 1991.
Still, i thank God for having it today.
Oops - too many candles?
Belated Birthday wishes, Internet. Here's looking at you, kid!Sunday, August 06, 2006
Money for nothing - Dire Straits
Aaarghhh.... i'm so pissed! I just watched "The Lakehouse" - due partly to recommendations and mainly on the trailer! What a load of crap!!!!! I just wasted like 1 hour and 35 mins of me life! Sheesh...
OK - since i dun wanna have to 2 movies review next to each other, i'll blog bout it tomorrow. Instead, i'll blog on the wonderful day today - yeah, wonderful until the movie!!!!
Being a weekend, all us temp staff were working today, from 7 am til 3 pm. In addition to the usual cafe duties, there was a women's footie competition goin on and our cafe was setting up a BBQ tent for them too.
But for us at the cafe, business was really slow and well... as Martyn said, we were so efficient that most of the time, we were just sitting around, drinking free drinks and chatting!
Early in the morning, before we opened for breakfast, we were just standing around sipping our lattes and teas. When the breakfast crowd left, we all had a nice sit-down-together breakfast.
Later, after clearing up the b/f stuffs, we just sat around and chat. When our manager saw us, and realised there was nothing to do, she sent us all to the BBQ tent. So off we went, still chatting away.
When we got there, there was nothing to do either. Rose and Kathy sat on the grass, Kevin was busy checking out the girls, Teddy decided to go for a jog (???) while Martyn and i were lamenting the quality of the football that we were seeing!
Seeing there was nothing much to do, we were sent back again to the cafe. But we weren't opening yet so we sat around again and chatted!
Yup, we were being paid 6.33 quid per hour for doing nothing!
But it was really nice - i felt that today, we managed to break free from the usual superficial frivolous chit-chat and got to know each other much better. We talked about our families, our plans for the future, things we did in the past, the pressures we face etc. Oh, some of them finally found out how old i am - you should have seen the way Teddy's jaw dropped when he found out! Earlier, i oso had an interesting conversation wif Kathy bout China and Tien An Men '89, Falon Gong etc.
And we were actually paid for all that! Cool-eh? :-)
OK - since i dun wanna have to 2 movies review next to each other, i'll blog bout it tomorrow. Instead, i'll blog on the wonderful day today - yeah, wonderful until the movie!!!!
Being a weekend, all us temp staff were working today, from 7 am til 3 pm. In addition to the usual cafe duties, there was a women's footie competition goin on and our cafe was setting up a BBQ tent for them too.
But for us at the cafe, business was really slow and well... as Martyn said, we were so efficient that most of the time, we were just sitting around, drinking free drinks and chatting!
Early in the morning, before we opened for breakfast, we were just standing around sipping our lattes and teas. When the breakfast crowd left, we all had a nice sit-down-together breakfast.
Later, after clearing up the b/f stuffs, we just sat around and chat. When our manager saw us, and realised there was nothing to do, she sent us all to the BBQ tent. So off we went, still chatting away.
When we got there, there was nothing to do either. Rose and Kathy sat on the grass, Kevin was busy checking out the girls, Teddy decided to go for a jog (???) while Martyn and i were lamenting the quality of the football that we were seeing!
Seeing there was nothing much to do, we were sent back again to the cafe. But we weren't opening yet so we sat around again and chatted!
Yup, we were being paid 6.33 quid per hour for doing nothing!
But it was really nice - i felt that today, we managed to break free from the usual superficial frivolous chit-chat and got to know each other much better. We talked about our families, our plans for the future, things we did in the past, the pressures we face etc. Oh, some of them finally found out how old i am - you should have seen the way Teddy's jaw dropped when he found out! Earlier, i oso had an interesting conversation wif Kathy bout China and Tien An Men '89, Falon Gong etc.
And we were actually paid for all that! Cool-eh? :-)
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Classic - Adrian Gurvitz
I finally watched it! After all these years!!!! The fact that i know so much of the movie, memorised lines from it - and even know how it ends - but still enjoyed it immensely shows what a brilliant movie it is! But then again, Casablanca is not in every major Top Movie lists for no reason!
I mean, how many serious movie lovers (and even the not-so-serious ones too!) do not know of the following lines:-
Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine.
Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris.
Here's looking at you kid.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
There are a lot of things which make a movie appeal to me (incidentally, i listed down 10 reasons why i think Casablanca is a classic - read it here). One of the main things is the script! Clever, witty, sarcastic, loaded, cryptic, hilarious, romantic - and the script in Casablanca has it all!
Here are some - to bring back wonderful memories for those who have watched it, and to try to induce those who havent to seek it out and watch it:-
Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.
Rick: If it's December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?
Sam: My watch stopped.
Victor Laszlo: You know how you sound, Mr. Blaine? Like a man who's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in his heart.
Ilsa: I wish I didn't love you so much.
Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.
Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.
Captain Renault: That is another reason.
Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.
Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never make plans that far ahead.
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
[aloud]
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!
Rick: I congratulate you.
Victor Laszlo: What for?
Rick: Your work.
Victor Laszlo: I try.
Rick: We all try. You succeed.
Yes, many a movie have since tried to impress like Casablanca did - but very few succeed like it did.
I mean, how many serious movie lovers (and even the not-so-serious ones too!) do not know of the following lines:-Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she had to walk into mine.
Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By."
Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.
Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris.
Here's looking at you kid.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
There are a lot of things which make a movie appeal to me (incidentally, i listed down 10 reasons why i think Casablanca is a classic - read it here). One of the main things is the script! Clever, witty, sarcastic, loaded, cryptic, hilarious, romantic - and the script in Casablanca has it all!
Here are some - to bring back wonderful memories for those who have watched it, and to try to induce those who havent to seek it out and watch it:-
Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my least vulnerable spot.
Rick: If it's December 1941 in Casablanca, what time is it in New York?
Sam: My watch stopped.
Victor Laszlo: You know how you sound, Mr. Blaine? Like a man who's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't believe in his heart.
Ilsa: I wish I didn't love you so much.
Ugarte: You know, Rick, I have many a friend in Casablanca, but somehow, just because you despise me, you are the only one I trust.
Captain Renault: Rick, there are many exit visas sold in this café, but we know that you've never sold one. That is the reason we permit you to remain open.
Rick: Oh? I thought it was because I let you win at roulette.
Captain Renault: That is another reason.
Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?
Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.
Yvonne: Where were you last night?
Rick: That's so long ago, I don't remember.
Yvonne: Will I see you tonight?
Rick: I never make plans that far ahead.
Captain Renault: What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We're in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed.
Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
[a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.
[aloud]
Captain Renault: Everybody out at once!
Rick: I congratulate you.
Victor Laszlo: What for?
Rick: Your work.
Victor Laszlo: I try.
Rick: We all try. You succeed.
Yes, many a movie have since tried to impress like Casablanca did - but very few succeed like it did.
